Only one joke in it, but you milked it for all it's worth.
I thought that it was well written however, and that it followed a logical sequence without becoming too cheesy, so from a writing point of view it was very good.
As to the comic side of it, perhaps if you put more one liners into it or a second comic thread then the reader may be less likely to figure out the punchline before he gets to it, although of course comedy is one of the hardest subjects to write on as peoples humour varies so much.
Anyway, I thought that it was a humorous piece, and very much enjoyed reading it.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/channers
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 10:50am on Dec 26, 2024 via server WEBX1.