Hi - I thought this well written. It is very romantic. I quite enjoyed it. I don' t think there would be much I would want to change. I like the relationship, the snowball fight, the openness, very well portrayed. Thank you for that story. It put a smile on my face. I actually got some goosebumps as well when I realized what he was about to do. I also liked the description at the beginning how she had his heart but it took her a year to realize he was the one.
Hi - I was intrigued at first to read your story. Your first love story. However, I wouldn't call it a love story at all. I didn't see much romance in it. I found it to be a bit slow as well, I'm sorry. But it's not like I'm a brilliant writer or anything, it is just my opinion. I would cut out some work stuff to make it flow better and add more about the new relationship. Why did she not show up at the cafe, why did she come to his place instead? What happens when they meet, he spends all this time preparing, so he has some sort of expectation, what is it? What is he hoping for? That's my thoughts, again good job, great start, a lot of potential.
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