W.o.w.
I used to write poetry and it never came close to what you just wrote. I loved the ending where you turned it into a 'brother/sister' relationship, or at least compared it to that. I'm really close to my brother so that really hit home with me and tapped into my emotions.
I like the emotion that is behind this. If I could make a suggestion...the first two stanza's seem to be like the speaker trying to convince their 'loved' one of staying and the second two stanza's seem to be like they're pushing the loved one away. I used to write poetry, now I do occasionally but I'm more into fiction in the forms of a story (I have one posted on my portfolio here on writing.com-please check it out), but try to keep the feeling consistant throughout the entire thing. Good luck and keep writing.
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