This Poem has good descriptive phrases coveying easily recognised feelings. I thouht the poem was honest and provoked the pain of aging or unexpected illness very well. A good poem over all.
I liked the Storey. It was amusing, especially when the swing set showed up. Also the ending was good I like how you left the girl an option. Your attention to detail was good , and the conversational dialougue sounded genuine. I thought perhaps the search for the sound was a liitle obbsesive, but upon reading the end I suppose that was the point. Overall I found your writting to be quite pollished and entertainining with just a little drag in the middle perhaps, but your ending was satisfying
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/celeste63
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.11 seconds at 6:43am on Nov 08, 2024 via server WEBX2.