\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/cel2133
Review Requests: OFF
11 Public Reviews Given
11 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Chloe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Initial impression:
Great story! This made me cry, first when he took the picture of her footprints and then, of course at the end. Super sweet and you did a great job of pulling at my heartstrings.
What I liked:
This is a great story of love and death and sickness, how people can and are still good. And it affected me emotionally which is something I feel strongly that good writing should do.
Issues:
There are a few minor grammatical issues, mostly places where it is clear you meant to include a word but forgot it somehow, or used a word when you may have meant to use another. For example: "It was amazing how good of a condition he had kept it (in)." Makes more sense if you add the final word in parentheses. I have found that reading a story out loud to myself or someone else helps me to catch mistakes like this in my own writing. You do not have a lot of these, so it is a rather minor issue.
Final thoughts:
Great story, emotional, well written, could use a little tweaking but I thoroughly enjoyed it.
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/cel2133