I was shaking my head as I read this. It was the truth. I can not begin to count how many times I've been "jacked."
I like how you formatted it into a bare bones read. There was no fluff or long winded statements. It just pounded everything out like a hammer. I especially liked the last line.The three repeated words summed up frustration perfectly.
I'm not an expert on poetry. However, this expresses the seemingly inescapable darkness and internal cry for help I have felt many times. It's that powerful.
The only error I noted was "their" instead of 'there" in the second to the last line. Other than that, I wouldn't change a thing.
The pacing here is really good and throws in just the right amount of information to get the reader wanting to know more. It's the well done. I can not see anything that needs work.
This is not so much a review as a comment. That is because everything was right on the money and written in a clear, concise way. Perfect.
I liked how you took the traffic stop incident and snowballed it into a social commentary. The little two minute run-in hooked me in with it fact based reality check before going into the, all too maddening, world of social change.
Political Correctness is the "Freedom from" philosophy that others use belligerently to squash the “Freedom to” rights the 1st Amendment protects. My run-ins tend to be short. A lot of those “offended” people haven’t figured out how to respond when I say, “so what?”
Anyway, thank you for the excellent read. I enjoyed it from beginning to end.
Oh, and if it happens again, you can always say you’re a fan of the eighties rock group.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.06 seconds at 6:31pm on Dec 26, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
