 Hi, Highlord!
Here’s my review on your story:
 A. TECHNICAL TYPOS, ILLOGICAL SENTENCES, AND WORDING
I don't think I spot any serious typo, well done. 
 B. CHARACTERS
I think the characters have yet to be exploited. John Holmes (a mix between John Watson and Sherlock Holmes? ) sounds like he has a potential to be a great detective, but I'm wondering how old he is in this story, for he sounds a little bit immature. I also wonder why he bothers the other man as PIs are usually attentive and careful in their speech.
The 'officer' also sounds amateurish. I reckon he's the bad guy? But I can't see any of his motive in this chapter yet. I also find his reactions and comments to be ridiculous. Of course, if you plan to make him a stupid criminal, there's no problem. But if you want to make him a clever one (which I'm sure appeal to the readers more), you should revise his speech to add more intelligence and motives. Why does he have to say the things he said? What is the connection between him and the murder? Why is he there on the first place? These are some of the questions you should have in mind.
 C. PLOT
You actually have a great idea for the story -- I rarely read a mystery/detective story that's true to the genre these days (most are parody, comedic, or even supernaturalistic), so I commend you for staying true to the mainstream.
Unfortunately enough, the one thing that makes mystery/detective writing harder than any other writing is the fact that we actually have to use both brains to write the story. The plot has to be informative, fair, and detailed, but it also has to appeal to the readers and not make them bored.
In this story, the plot has barely been introduced. We still don't know what the killer's motives are, what other clues are gathered, and the possible suspects. It's normal for an opening chapter, of course, and at least you've shown us the murderer's weapon. But I somehow feel that the main plot of the murder is a little bit overshadowed by the speech between John and the 'officer'. You make the readers focus more on the suspicious 'officer' than the original plot, which is the murder. Maybe you can cut some of the speech and get the readers focus more on the murder of the woman.
 D. SCENE
The scenes in this story, in my opinion, have been nicely described. I quite like the opening paragraphs which describe the beach and John's actions. However, you can put more detailed descriptions. Instead of just saying, like, "He set up a camp", maybe you can describe his struggle on setting it, his personal comments about the trip, etc. Just a suggestion. 
 E. LOGIC IN STORY 
Finally, the most dreaded part in every mystery writer's novel's criteria: logicality. A good mystery/detective story has to have a strong and convincing logic. Here are some illogicalities and notes (and some questions of mine to clarify things out) I found in this story:
Why is John going to the beach, really? Is it because he's fed up with the cases? Or is he to investigate something? 'Cause later on, it is said that he would be in trouble if he told anyone that he was a PI.
The victim was found dead with blood trickling down steadily. Meaning that she just died. The beach was an open space and there were lots of people. How come no one noticed that she wasn't strangled ('cause no one protested against the 'officer''s theory)? And why doesn't John reason with that as well?
Good point on the blood. Strangulation does NOT cause blood-letting. It will only cause salivation and/or other bodily products discharges. Maybe you should explain this to strengthen John's theory.
It is written that John tried to touch the victim (and did so eventually). But where were his gloves? As a PI, it's important to maintain the condition of the victim as it is. His not wearing gloves sounds wrong and amateurish to me.
I wonder why the 'officer' left to take the badge. Why can't he just say that he doesn't have to show his badge to John?
Why does John wear a heavy coat to the beach? Isn't it supposed to be hot and humid there? And won't it actually make him look suspicious to others?
It's written that John managed to see something hidden beneath the victim's head. But how can he do that without actually checking on her first?
You mentioned this poison called "Curare". Does it really exist? If so, are the characterizations of the poison correct (the origin, smell, and effect)? You have to be detailed when inserting informations about poisons in a detective story.
Another note about death by poisoning: it usually doesn't cause blood-letting, but more commonly causes cyanosis, salivation, and/or burns (from chemical poisons).
And again, since it is said that John dealt with this type of poison before and that the poison was quite commonly used, why wasn't there ANY explanation and cures for the poison? It doesn't make sense.
 F. WRITING STYLE
This story is written in a 3rd person's POV. While this allows you full access to be with anyone, thus not losing a scene, there's also a drawback in which the story becomes impersonal. You don't actually feel the emotions of the characters, especially the main ones. This can easily be fixed by describing the characters' current feelings ("Harry Potter" is a perfect example). I also find that humour really helps hooking your readers' attention, so make sure to slip some in the story. 
 G. FORMAT/APPEARANCE
The layout of this story is a little bit messed up. Sometimes there are indents, sometimes there aren't. Sometimes the paragraphs are nicely arranged, sometimes they are chopped off in the middle. I also find that it lacks spacing between paragraphs. Even though it sounds like a simple matter, your readers probably won't read till the end if they're uncomfortable with the layout. Please consider revising it.
 H. BEST PART
I like this part best:
“For God’s sake stop treating me like some random desk-clerk! I’m a private investigator.”
(Paragraph 8, Line 1) --> I guess
I always like a little humour in a story, and this is no exception. Cool! XD
I. OVERALL
So, in overall, this story has a potential. But you have to be careful on some things. Here are the summary of the above comments:
 Pay attention to the commas and other punctuations. But of course, these are minor problems. Simple revisions will do.
The characters have to be more 3-dimensional. Give them more personality.
The plot might need to be more logical and interesting. But it's a good opening chapter nonetheless, in my opinion. And one more thing, please focus on the main plot and don't stray too much.
The scenes are nicely described, but can use some elaborations.
Be careful on the logics! There are many illogicalities in this story!
Your writing style can use a little bit more humour, personalization, and emotional descriptions of the characters.
Please revise the layout, it hurts the audience's eyes and can discourage them from reading your story till the end.
At last, please don't be discouraged from this review for we are all still learning. I'm currently writing my 1st detective novel myself, so let's not give up for the both of us! I'll give this piece a 2,5-star rating, but will re-rate it if you revise this. Keep writing! n_~*
~Cat-Claws.
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The instructions are well-written and clear.
