I think that this poem is very good, it has a good balance of physical descriptions to metaphors. There are very nice images such as just wanting the next day so much. This is more of a person preference, but I would have probably done fewer longer stanzas, I feel like that may have paralleled the longing felt, and I would have probably not started every line with a capital. The poem is written very well, my only suggestions are more technical rather than stylistic.
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