I love that word "befallen." I love that you made use of your senses and described the hot and the cold and the vengeful and anger and the bemusement that you might not be able to sort out who harmed you before you die. It wasn't exactly regretted that I observed it was the lack of control you were acknowledging that exists. I especially enjoyed the sentence "My name is Rhys Johnson and this is my story." It made for a good opening to go back to what lead you to the scene you were first writing.
The only thing different that I might have done is give into the sounds around you like the faint sirens of a bad neighborhood or the silence of a back road or the boat horns of a shipping yard just to bring us to a setting of some kind. Just to indicate that maybe you were stabbed and dumped somewhere and you are just coming to...Just a thought.
Thank you for giving readers a chance to review. You are off to a great beginning and you have a world out there to write about from this character and what lead them to this point.
I needed to read something like this today; It is a writing challenge to write like you are having an outer body experience.
I went to a job interview the other day and was forced to look at myself through another candidates eyes. I never really saw myself as having that much work experience. So for one brief moment during the interview, I had a moment to see myself from the outside.
Thank you for writing it as it inspired me to write about a fictional character I have been tinkering with as an excercise in making her more dimensional.
Also your appreciation for your family and friends is also beautiful and honest. We, as people, do not often weigh these matters in because they are with us and we are with them. At least for me, life gets us moving so fast that I get into an autopilot mode. So thank you very much!
You have placed these words into a beautiful arrangement to show just how much writing is sewn into who you are as a character in your own story. Bravo! I totally relate!
Thank you for writing this. I needed to read this today.
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