Hello 4 Wheels. I really like your poem! I sense your acceptance of your situation at a very deep level. It is positive and above all conveys faith and hope in the transcendence of life hereafter. It has good rhyme and rhythm, and flows very nicely.A suggestion: All the stanzas begin with "Heaven is a place..." except the 4th one. I would begin with: Heaven is a place where I won't be poor any more....I hope this is helpful. Keep writing.Nice work! Carol Ava
I really liked this piece. Good beginning which leads into the story nicely and comes to a satisfying conclusion. I liked
"I have already learned that everything goes" because the interpretation of this is left to the reader and plays on the words of the song. Although a short piece it describes well: the characters, their relationship and struggle to come to terms with their loss. Well done!
Nice piece of writing. It is thoughtful and insightful. I could well relate to what you are saying about our shadow self that ever lurks in the back ground. But I liked the last stanza which says to me that although we should be mindful of it, we should be overcome by it, which brings it to a positive conclusion. Well done!
Honest and very thought provoking. Although in the past I have not believed in euthanasia this raises some hard questions and I shall be re-thinking this issue in future.
Good writing! Clever analogy for relationships. Especially since "being green" is so in vogue these days. I liked "Clean-up is not easy. It may mean handling sharp-edged broken glass, ripped metal cans, reaching into brambles after empty chips bags, or those plastic grocery bags that the wind has whipped around, over, under shrubs making it a small wrestling match to disentangle them." Relationships do need careful handling to restore, clean up maybe even dispose of. But the results as you say are so worth the effort.
Good succinct writing. The reader can sense the surrealism of the experience. And "Why am I not crying?" The strange thoughts that so often cross one's mind. I liked "My grandpa wasn't a nobody; people cared about him." The writing comes to a satisfying conclusion. Finally the reality sets in that "He will always be missing"
Good writing. Descriptive and flows well. Nice story line and good ending. I like your sense of humour and it succeeds well as a comedic piece. I found it a bit too long (but perhaps that's just me.) I think you could have reduced it without loosing anything and perhaps it would keep the reader better engaged in the story.
Delightful! This piece succeeds very well in creating a scene. As the reader I feel as if I am there. It flows very nicely, and conjures up pictures set in a different time and place very well. The child's voice comes through very well bringing back memories of my own childhood. It is charming and should be fleshed out more perhaps as a short story.
Nice idea for a story. Very imaginative. Writing is engaging and very descriptive. Fascinating journey through the brain. I also sense the love the writer has for her sister which is very moving. Despite the sadness of the story the conclusion is uplifting. Well done! Keep writing.
2nd paragraph should read "Arriving at not to. Otherwise a lovely story. Descriptive writing. Keeps the reader engaged and interested. Writing flows. Easy to follow. "You're never alone at Thistledon Cottage carries the story nicely and draws to a satisfying conclusion. Good sense of place and characters. Nice dialogue. Well done.
Absolutely delightful! Lovely writing style. It flows easily, keeps the reader engaged. I love your descriptions and use of dialogue and the ending rounds it off very nicely. An uplifting piece that I enjoyed reading . Well done!
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/carolels
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 2:00am on Nov 27, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
