I found this story very entreating.It draws you into the tavern quickly and gives you a ring side seat. I like the character development of Anton.
Mixing languages and doing colloquial accents is a very risky thing and usually ends badly. That is not the case here. The French is interspersed just enough to give you a feel for the time and the ambiance of the setting. A very good job,indeed.
I liked your sample. The first paragraph is a little disjointed but then you know that. You even mention it's randomness. The second and third paragraphs are where you start to paint your word picture. I am not sure where you are going with this but like you say it is a sample.
I am not a spelling guru but you do have one that jumps out at me( acned) . I assume it should be ascend?
Like I said I like it . Keep up the good work.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/cardcutter
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.09 seconds at 2:51pm on Nov 28, 2024 via server WEBX2.