Oh, this is quite lovely. Visually, the way you've arranged the lines makes me think of smoke, as in the smoke from a censer used in ritual. There is a cryptic quality to the language that works well. Spiritual insight often comes like that -- just on the perimeter of meaning.
Favorite lines: (Loved your opening)
I'm floating; neither here nor there:
through sedated space,
upon the vastness,
then upon more vastness...
with only the promise of more darkness.
The line I keep coming back to is this one:
Relinquish...awkwardness in tune and tone
to a state of finesse.
Are the .... there to indicate a pause in the "voice" / consciousness?
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