I found this to be an interesting piece. Some of the sentance structuring is a little akward. Be careful to avoid redundancy and wordiness. I recommend that you resubmit the story after another proof-reading as some words appear to be missing. That being said, I found myself drawn into the plot. In fact, I was terribly annoyed when my phone rang just as Mark was traveling the grey corridor. I didn't want to stop reading and was a bit abrupt with the caller so I could return to the journey. I liked the symbolism of the corridor, and who doesn't like to see pay back for the wrongs done by others. I would be happy to review this again if you care to edit and re-submit the piece. Keep up the writing.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/callielynn
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.11 seconds at 9:57am on Nov 22, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
