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215 Public Reviews Given
382 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Oh Algebra  Open in new Window.
Review by Jess Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hehe amen, sister!

I cannot stand math. Any part of it! Your poem expresses not only your feelings towards the horrid subject, but also mine and I'm sure so many more of today's youth. Couldn't we be using that time wasted in class, writing??

Congradulations on a true to life, or true to math, poem!
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Review of Oh, Bloody Rose  Open in new Window.
Review by Jess Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, Poka Author IconMail Icon!

I really liked this. But that's probably because I adore reading about roses, whether they're metaphoric or not. I like how you use personification to "make" the rose a woman.

I couldn't figure out, if at the beginning when you say "Oh, Bloody Rose!" Is that just stating the title or is it part of the poem?

Good job!
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Review by Jess Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review nine of ten:

This just looks so pretty! I really like the movement of the paragraphs, almost parallel to a flowing river. The picture is very thought provoking, too.

This one is very hard for me to review because I don't see anything with it that needs changed!

Good job.
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Review of The Fall  Open in new Window.
Review by Jess Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review eight of ten:

A question I ask myself often, "Where is my snaity?" *Bigsmile*

"For I yearn for peace of mind"

This sounds a little awkward with two "for"s so close together.

I like it when people use the HTML to their advantage, as you've done with the italics.
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Review by Jess Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
When I read this, I kind of forgot that it was a poem, mostly because the rhyme scheme is so unnoticable. But that's good to me because it means that I was so attentive to your words that I couldn't pay attention to the meter.

"Then oneday I joined an online club "

I think you mean "one day"...

Good job!
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Review of Gracie  Open in new Window.
Review by Jess Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review six of ten:

I know the feeling, that the animal isn't your average house pet. I had a dog named Duke that was rescued from Angels for Animals. He had had a long day of people petting and satring and playing with him in the pet store, but still had enough energy to play with me when we got to him. We took him home, and one of his favorite things to do was pull me across the kitchen floor by my hair! It was painful, but fun.

The spacing here is nice, very easy and inviting to read. I don't have any suggestions for this. Good job!
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Review of My Toddler Days  Open in new Window.
Review by Jess Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Review five of ten:

I don't remember my first spanking, but my dad does. He's the one who cried!

You scheme is nearly flawless here, very consistant and flows very well.

I don't see any spelling or grammer errors, I really liked this one! Good job!
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Review by Jess Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review four of ten:

I've had a similar expierience! When I was about four I was at the lake and I was attempting to feed the duck, when it bit my finger! I was on my dad's shoulders for the rest of the day. It's painful!!

This made me laugh in less than 300 words, very cute! And I love how you used the HTML to play up the sillyness. Good job!
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Review by Jess Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review three of ten:

I' glad to see some punctuation in this one, it really makes all the difference!

This is really an interesting topic to choose a poem on. My favorite part of all was the last stanza, it's very memorable.

No spelling/grammer errors that I saw! Good job!
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Review by Jess Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Review two of ten:

That sounds like quite the adventure!

I think one thing that might improve this is if you try to add a little more punctuation. Some places really feel like they need a comma or something.

Well, this was interesting. But the whole mood felt like you were just trying to make it rhyme. And it really sounded forced. I'm not really sure what should be done to fix that, but it was a little choppy.

Other than that this was really nice!
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Review of Mama's Pleas  Open in new Window.
Review by Jess Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi! You've recieved ten reviews as a gift for your placing in "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.

Review one of ten:

This is a very nice poem. It shows the emotion of wanting the best for your new ones.

In the title, you say "Plea's" which is possesive, but it doesn't need to be, I don't think.

That's the only mistake I caught. Other than that it is really good!



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Review by Jess Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I've never really thought about the subject like that before, but both sides present a good point. I suppose I've never had to think about it, though, because I've never known an aeithiest.

I noticed that you use two spaces after each punctuation, is there a reason for that, just to make it more presentable?

I like your creative comparison what with your grandmother's eating habbits and such, I found that very amusing.

Good job!
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Review of Bad Hair Day  Open in new Window.
Review by Jess Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I'm raiding your port for 10 reviews for your placing in the "Precious Gifts Writing Contest"

Review 6 of 10:

I've had a similar expirience! I wanted to go auburn, but it ended up turning this nasty rusty ironish color, oh it was disgusting!

Again, I noticed that you tend to use more than three periods for a pause, but you only need three.

Other than that, good job!
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Review by Jess Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I normally don't read these types of items on WDC, actually, because normally they're extremely boring and say things I already know.

And also I am normally turned off from a peice when it says "8.61 kb"

But I decided to read yours, for what reason is unknown, and I really, truley liked it!

Can't really say what it is I liked, but your honesty in your writing is very refreshing. Good job!
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Review by Jess Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I'm raiding your port for 10 reviews for your placing in the "Precious Gifts Writing Contest"

Review 5 of 10:

Oh, what an expirience that would have been! Once there was a spider hanging from our bathroom cieling, dangling in front of my face! I screamed and swatted at it and it fell, but I wasn't sure where it had gone. So I went to bed and in the morning it had bitten me on the wrist and numbed my forearm for an hour or so!

" be......"

You only need three periods to express the pause, in fact that's the only correct way to write it.

Good job!
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Review of Just A Cat  Open in new Window.
Review by Jess Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I'm raiding your port for 10 reviews for your placing in the "Precious Gifts Writing Contest"

Review 1 of 10:

I love the picture at the top! It's very cute and very appropriate. At first I thought your rhyme scheme was a little long, but it was consistant. No spelling errors, but I do think you need at least a little punctuation. It may be missing because of the fact it is a children's poem, but I think a comma in the appropriate place would make it even better.

Good job!
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Review by Jess Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I had to get clues as to what this was about from the title and description, but when I did understand it I really liked it.

A toad fights a cat only to die, but be reborn as a world saving samuri... It's great that you can say that in only three lines of words, that takes lots of talent.

Good job!
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Review of Evil wind  Open in new Window.
Review by Jess Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I love the meter here, it's very consistent and flowing to read.

The only thing I noticed is thta there is quite a bit of punctuation, commas, and it's a little distracting. But I don't really see how it would read correctly without them so I wouldn't recomend a change.

Good job with this, I really liked it!
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Review by Jess Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I love this! The ending is pretty surprising and the poem makes much more sense when read over.

There's a couple things that I think could be reworded.

"It's just the way
My most precious gift flows"

I think it would sound better without the contraction "it's" and there's too many syllables in the second line. So maybe instead:

"Is just the way
My precious gift flows"

Also, "With lots of fries with that"

Too many "with"s

So maybe: "And lots of fries with that"

I think it would do your poem well to add a few commas, too.

Other than that, good job!!

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Review by Jess Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is probably a stupid question, but is the "Thief Time" at the begginning of your poem, part of the poem? Or just the title?

I think I know why I like your haikus so much, I'd never read one before reading a few from your port. The nouns are such defined words- leaves, dears, lovers, thief... That at the mention of each the reader can form a picture in thier minds. So even though they are very short, they are very involved and entertaining.

I saw nothing that needs to be fixed here, great job!
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Review of Memories Unmade  Open in new Window.
Review by Jess Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
So, are the two parts like a flash version and a poetry version of the same thing?

I really enjoyed both. Condisdering the comment made by the girl, I wouldn't have expected her to be only 12, but I guess that's supposed to be the surprise.

I thought you used a few too many describing words in the first part, it's good to be descriptive and all, but I think it's a little too much. So just take out a few of the adjectives and it'll be perfect! The poem part was great.
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Review by Jess Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This is really nice, again the absence of words makes you think harder.

I don't really like the ending punctuation at each line, maybe a comma after the first, because it makes it sounds very - blank.

Other than that, it was really nice and I enjoyed it!
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Review by Jess Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Oh, I love the ending the best! I can't wait for the next chapter, I've enjoyed all the previous ones!

One thing I saw:

Gerard turned to Treasa. “It's nice to see you again and congratulations, Séamus tells me your expecting.”

"Your" shoudl be possesive, I believe.

Other than that, the dialougue was great, the paragraphs were nicely split up, and this was very good!
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Review of Haiku - Squirrel  Open in new Window.
Review by Jess Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Again, this has very few words but was fun to read. I find that the shorter the poem, the harder it is to translate. Like with your last one, I had to reread it to get that the sailboat was actually a sea gull. And I had to reread this one to get the Jack Frost part. But maybe it's just me *Bigsmile*

Well, good job with this, I can see a cute little squirrel nervously looking for its nuts.

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Review by Jess Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Even though the words are scarce, I can see what the author is trying to create. And that's what counts!

A pretty picture of open blue seas, a small sailboat turning into a swooping sea gull is what I see. I didn't expect the sail to come alive *Bigsmile*

Nice choice of words, good job!
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