I'm giving you 5 stars because the message hits home. My fiance was diagnosed with Type-1 when she turned 24. She is 30 now. Doing well, but it is tough. I would imagine it might have been easier to deal with if she had been diagnosed at your age, but then again, she had 13 years more than you did before she had to deal with everything.
In terms of the story - it's well written. The entire time I was anxious to see your explanation of where you are in life now; how has diabetes affected you, 40 years after the fact? Whether you are a typical story, a success story, or a sad story, it would be meaningful to add how diabetes has changed your life and health in the long run, to this tale.
The only reason I'm not going to give it a 5 is because I tend to believe everything can be improved. This said, your poem was excellent. Easy to ready, with a great deal of story told in short verbiage. I liked the complete lack of punctuation. I also like the physical structure of the layout; very much like viewing a belly-dancer's form.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/brentmiller
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.11 seconds at 5:13pm on Nov 08, 2024 via server WEBX2.