Seems like an interesting read, it's not my genre of preference but you had me wondering how the fight would end, that's for sure. And I do wonder what is going to happen next. I like your writing style, I find it to be clean and easy to read. You have good ability to describe what's happening through choice words. Your description of the world and characters was excellent, I was able to picture everything very easily.
One tip if I may add:
Tariel shrugged, saying, "If so, then so be it. However, I doubt that will be the result." <--- Personally I would cut this piece of dialogue out. Why? I just couldn't picture him saying that, it didn't seem to fit. The dialogue before the fight should finish with "Then you will die," Kron stated with finality.
Because I would imagine that Kron would lunge the moment he says die, not giving Tariel a chance to reply if you know what I mean?
Other than that, I found it to be a good read, your a great writer and should continue with the book in my opinion.
There were a couple of spelling mistakes too, but I couldn't find them again hehe sorry!
Thanks for sharing!
God bless,
My first review so here we go: :0)
Your opening scene had me engaged from the beginning, I like that. you reminded of me back in my school days, while is an excellent thing.
I like how you insert bits of the characters thoughts throughout the story and insert little details like head nods etc. it shows that you had a very vivid picture of the story as you were writing it, I enjoy those details. You had me wondering what she was doing buying all those objects when she went out and the interaction between Tracy and other characters was quite natural and the dialogue was very good.
You threw me off a bit with the demon summoning part, highly unexpected. I'm undecided if it works for or against the story. I guess it seems a tad unrealistic/drastic/way out there compared everything else before it.
The ending left me wondering if the demon actually made Derek do the homework for her, or if he did it on his own accord for the reasons he said leaving her not needing to summon the demon in the end. It seems to me he did it on his own accord unless i'm missing something there.
Some slight grammatical errors if i'm correct?
What can I get for ya? Your mom want some more roses." <--Should there be a question mark there?
What can I do for you today." <--- Another one here, question mark?
And there's a slight spelling mistake there some where too but I can't find it.
All in all, I think your a great writer, your writing style seems very refined, great word usage, expression and detail. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing! God bless -
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