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66 Public Reviews Given
66 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Dreaming Darkly  Open in new Window.
Review by Bookiemonster Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Note: This is just my opinion and I mean no offense by it.

Rhyme: This poem had beautiful rhyme throughout the entire piece. Well done!

Flow: Great flow! No snags that I could see.

Spelling: No problems here

ImageryAwesome imagery! My favorite lines were:
"One verbal slice of the knife
Another failed attempt at life
Bottomless eyes with a sinister gleam
Calculating the next cold, evil scheme"

Overall: I thought this poem was nicely written. I enjoyed reading it.

Suggestions: I would suggest maybe adding some more puctuation.

KEEP WRITING!

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2
2
Review by Bookiemonster Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Note:This is just my opinion and I mean no offense by it.

Rythm: The rythm was good and flowed along smoothly

Spelling: No mistakes that I can see!

Punctuation: Looks good!

Overall: I thought this was a great poem! I enjoyed reading it!

Suggestions: In the last stanza, second line, I would change "lump" to thump. To me, "lump" doesn't make any sense, but that is just my opinion. *Smile*

KEEP WRITING!


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3
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Review of I scream  Open in new Window.
Review by Bookiemonster Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Note: This is just my opinion and I mean no offense by it.

Imagery: Great imagery! My favorite lines were:
"I scream to end the silence
But no sound escapes my lungs
I weap for peace
But it never comes"


Spelling: In the second stanza, third line, "sainity" should be "sanity".

Punctuation: Since this is poetry, there really isn't a "right or wrong", however, I do believe that adding a bit more punctuation would improve the poem's rythm. Alhtough, as the author, it is your right to disagree.

Overall: I loved this poem, it had great flow and expresses the feeling of angry hopelessness really well.

Suggestions: See spelling and punctuation.

KEEP WRITING!

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by Maryann Author Icon
4
4
Review by Bookiemonster Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Note: This is just my opinion and I mean no offense by it.


Dialog: I thought the dialog was really good. It flowed along smoothly, and there weren't and words that felt repetative. However, There were a few times when Anouk and Bindi were talking back and forth with their minds, that I was a little confused as to who was saying what.

Imagery/Descriptions: Very nice.

Overall: I loved this! The idea for racing giant serpants is just brilliant. I will, say, I was a little confused with some of the terms, like "I lit my indigo" and "unamenti", but then I saw your authors note, so I really don't have any complaints about this story at all. It was a great read, the action at the end was awesome. Great job!! *Thumbsup*

Suggestions: Write more!!

KEEP WRITING!


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5
5
Review of Clearance Pt 2  Open in new Window.
Review by Bookiemonster Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Note: this is just my opinion and I mean no offense by it.

Rythm: Great ryhtm, works well with the poem.

Imagery: Good imagery.

Spelling: Perfect!

Punctuation: Since this is poetry, I really can't comment on puctuation. Although, "its" needs an apostraphe. "it's".

Overall: I thought this was a really great poem! I anjoyed reading it and I loved the beat to it. Great job!

Suggestions: (see punctuation)

KEEP WRITING!

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6
6
Review by Bookiemonster Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Note: this is just my oppinion and I mean no offense by it.

Rythm: Great Rythm!

Flow: Beautiful.

Spelling an Punctuation: Both Perfect!

Overall: I loved this poem so much. It had a beautiful rythm to it. My favorite lines were:
"Daily I am alive,
Breathing just to survive.
This torment consumes me.
In misery, I thrive.
Of pleasure, I deprive." The rythm there was my fav. It just flowed so smoothly and had a great beat.

Suggestions: None!

KEEP WRITING!!

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7
7
Review by Bookiemonster Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Note: this is just my oppinion and I mean no offense byt it.

Rythm: Nice consistant rythm, it has a good "beat" to it, and I like the fact that it rhymes.

Flow: Great flow.

Spelling and Punctuation: Spelling is perfect and so is the punctuation.

Overall: Cool poem, I loved the rythm to it and I also loved the colors. Makes the poem sort of pop. I loved reading it. Great job!

Suggestions: None.

KEEP WRITING!

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8
8
Review of A Magic Lamp  Open in new Window.
Review by Bookiemonster Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Note: This is just my oppinion and I mean no offense by it.

Imagery: Awesome imagery! My favorite lines were:
"Yet in the spot it forced the earth to bleed
A garden now emerges filled with life."

Rythm: Nice rythm, although it would be easier to see with more punctuation. (see suggestions)

Spelling and Punctuation: Spelling was perfect as far as I could tell, for punctuation, see suggestions.

Overall: Great poem with beautiful imagery! It had a nice flow and wengt along smoothly. I really enjoyed reading it.

Suggestions: In my oppinion, at the end of each line that doesn't have a period, there should be a comma. Just to set off the rythm and make it easier to read. But of course, the lack of punctuation could be intentional, therefore disregard the suggestion. *Bigsmile*

KEEP WRITING!

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9
9
Review of Silent Witness  Open in new Window.
Review by Bookiemonster Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Note: this is just my oppinion and I mean no offense by it. Take from it what you want, and ignore the rest.

First of all, wow. That was so heartbraking. And wonerfully written. Nice job! The story had a nice flow to it, and the emotion was great. The story was so believable that I felt as if I were sitting in the classroom myself. There were a few grammatical errors that jumped out at me, but very few.

When I read the first paragraph, I was a little confused. At first I thought that it was being narrated in third person, then when you go on to write " I tried as she did;" I was rather lost. Maybe I'm just slow, but I think in the beggining you should put something like, ' I silenlty watched as Terry tried very hard to hold back her tears' or something that will let the reader know that it's being told in first person.

Also, when you wrote 'Where you stood in the strict observations in the 'upper' ninth grade class was determined by what you wore'
I would change that to ' Where the strict obbservations of what you wore determined where you stood in the "upper" ninth grade class.'
For the sake of clarity.

Where you write, ' I think, but did nothing.' I would change that to, ' I think, but do nothing.' To keep the tense the same.

Lastly, I would change, ' Dana was one the branded undesirables' to ' Dana was also unfortunate enough to be branded undesirable' and then add a comma after undesirable.

It was a great story, and I hope this review was helpful.

Keep Writing!!

Bookie,




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by Maryann Author Icon
10
10
Review of Yellow Sock  Open in new Window.
Review by Bookiemonster Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Awww. You are so sweet! I loved it! Very creative, and you wrote it so quickly. Now that took skill, especially with the 'prompt' I gave you. lol
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Review of Reputation  Open in new Window.
Review by Bookiemonster Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Note: this is just my oppinion and I mean no offense by it.


Great poem! The imagery was clear and easy to understand. I had no trouble picturing the scenes that were being described. I really enjoyed reading it.


Suggestions:

At the end of the ninth line, I would put a period.
In the next line, I would put ' The thorns did not seem to hurt her' instead of 'And the thorns did not seem to hurt her'.

The line 'Finally, she caught up' needs a period at the end. (in my oppinion)

Lastly, the lines 'She catches thier eyes first,
She preens in the attention,'

I would maybe change it to 'All eyes on her,
Preening in attention,' But again, this is just my oppinion.


Great poem! KEEP WRITING!!


Bookie,
12
12
Review of Burn, Burn, Burn  Open in new Window.
Review by Bookiemonster Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really liked this poem. It had a nice rythm, and the fact that it rhymes nicely is a bonus. Great imagery. Spelling and punctuation was really good. Overall: Great poem! I enjoyed reading it. Keep Writing!!

Bookie,
13
13
Review of Glimpse to Nature  Open in new Window.
Review by Bookiemonster Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Note: This is just my oppinion and I mean no offense by it.


Imagery: The imagery was awesome!!

Spelling and Punctuation: Spelling was great! Puntuation had a few minor mistakes, but otherwise perfect.

Flow/rythm: The flow was nice, and I really liked the rythm.

Overall: I really loved this poem!! It was so beautiful, and the imagery was brilliant.

Suggestions: In the Second line " Where gulls herd to a plight" is 'herd' supposed to mean 'hearing' or herd as in 'flocking'?

Third line needs a comma at the end.

Line six needs either a comma or period at the end.

In Line eight you wrote: " Where elegance was so naive as I could imagine" I would change 'so' to 'as'. So that it would read " Where elegance was as naive as I could imagine"


Again, GREAT poem!! Keep Writing!!


Bookie,

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Review of Dragons  Open in new Window.
Review by Bookiemonster Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Note: This is just my oppinion and I mean no offense by it.


Spelling and Punctuation: Spelling is perfect, for punctuation I would add commas after each line, otherwise the reader will just keep reading after every line and it will throw off your rythm. But it is your poem, and if that's the rythm you want, then that's fine, all poetry differant.

Imagery: The imagery was great. Nice job!

Rhyme: I liked the rhyme scheme.

Overall: I really liked this poem, the imagery was very clear, the reader could emediatly see what you were describing.

Suggestions: Put in more punctuation. Otherwise, doesn't need anything else. =)


KEEP WRITING!!!!!

Bookie,
15
15
Review of Last Thoughts  Open in new Window.
Review by Bookiemonster Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Note: This is just my oppinion and I mean no offense by it.

Spelling and Punctuation: Perfect!

Imagery: The imagery was amazing! I especially liked the lines "My arms chained to iron bars of cold and tears." and "I'm restricted in the valley of damp reasoning"

Rythm: It didn't really have a definate rythm or rhyme scheme, but honestly, I think it works really well the way it is.

Overall: Wonderful poem full of great imagery and emotion.

Suggestions: None.

Bookie,

16
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Review by Bookiemonster Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Note: This is just my oppinion and I mean no offense by it.

I loved the imagery in this!!!!! It was really beautiful. It sorta made sense without making sense if that's possible! lol.
17
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Review of Stay Strong  Open in new Window.
Review by Bookiemonster Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Notice: This is just my opinion and I mean no offence by it.


Spelling and Punctuation: Very good spelling, It is hard to tell with punctuation since it is poetry, so I have no complaints.

Imagery: There wasn't that much imagery, but the emotion of the poem is what stood out.

Rythm: I really like the rythm.

Overall: It was a great poem, filled with emotion. Nice job!

Suggestions: None. I love it just the way it is. =)
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Review of Oh What a Life  Open in new Window.
Review by Bookiemonster Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I liked this poem a lot! It had a really nice rhyming scheme, and Spelling and punctuation was great as far as I could tell. I have no complaints! Great poem!!!
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Review by Bookiemonster Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
AWESOME!! I love all the clear images and use of descriptve adjectives! The rythm is great, and I like the fact that it rhymes.I wrote a poem for that contest, but I couldn't meet the line requirement.=(
Probably for the best though, you would have creamed me. *BigSmile*
Great poem!!!
20
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Review by Bookiemonster Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is just my opinion and I mean no offense by it.


Nice poem! It had a really nice rythm, and great imagery. I especially like the lines:

" Drunken pride of slayers might
Raging fire, blackest night"

Although I don't really uderstand the ' blackest night' part. What does it mean? I don't see how that fits in, other than to rhym with 'might'.

But, these are just my opinions. I still thought the poem was great!!
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Review of False Alarm  Open in new Window.
Review by Bookiemonster Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Ooh. I like this one. Short, sweet, and to the point. Nice!

BookieMonster
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Review of Thank You  Open in new Window.
Review by Bookiemonster Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Below is just my opinion and I mean no offense by it.

I think you might need to change the rating for this one. It is definetaly not an E rated poem. Some people might not want to read that kind of language. I am not , however, booing your poem. I think you really got your point across and painted a picture of being angry and hurt in a swift, raw manner. intsead of fluffing it up and making a long flowery poem. Plus the spelling and punctuation was good.

Keep writing! =)


BookieMonster
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Review of Night Song  Open in new Window.
Review by Bookiemonster Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
What a great poem!
I love fantasy poems like this, it was really enjoyable to read. Plus, I like the fact that it rhymes. It gives it a more whimsical feel. But what I liked most about it was the fact that it was whimsical, but also mysterious. And the imagery was great! It was a magical poem and I loved it!

BookieMonster
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