I loved this, a female gunslinger! Not what you would call, standard western lore, although it was not uncommon. I felt you built the charachter Jo well. I was picturing Ellie from the Beverly Hillbillies sitcom back in the day, but with a weapon. I would say that her, being of 5'10 stature, capable of kicking two cowpokes, although drunk, over would still be a little difficult to pull off. One of them was approaching 6' and the other was shorter and apparnetly on the chubby side. I think you need to focus a bit more on her physique in order to make this part of the story more believable. Again, I was seeing a smaller female as I read. Still very good indeed. I would like to read more...
This piece is well written and has grabbed my attention. Please continue. I love all history of the old west genere especially from the years following the Civil War to the turn of the century. I had never thought of visiting grave sites, or even haunted dwellings as a part of research before, and actually makes sense to me. So I guess I am as strange as you in that respect. Keep it up and I will keep reading!
Very interesting. I really liked this story. It has the potential to become something big. I loved the reference to a female dog in heat and the deathwalker not being born...kinda funny. The story did sorta flow like I was watching a pokemon show with my kids though. It just seemed 'jerky" in motion. But I tell ya, I liked it. I would really like to read this again after you have fixed the "holes" you mentioned. I love the religious connotations. Maybe utilizing some actual Hebrew when you go back over this would add a bit of sparkle. You are heading in the right direction.
I enjoyed reading you story, but I must admit I was getting lost between scenes. The direction would often switch at the most inopprotune times. It kept my intrest though and I wanted to find out what would happen to Stacey next. The foster parents did not seem real to me; I guess they sounded sterile for a lack of a better term. All in all, it piqued my intrest.
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