This poem is seriously a rockin' piece. I too find the themes of death and the ballroom to be similar, in that they are almost wrapped in a black cloud of mystery and beauty. They're their own art forms, and in this poem(I think( display said beauty by intertwining. But hey I'm a newbie too, and one that hopes to create effective pieces of work, and this one definately acheivs.
Let me start off by saying you are not a bad writer, you just need a little improvment. I'm guessing the plot is about a few encounters a small group of freinds have in this locally owned hotel, pretty cool. What I like to do(hope it's allowed) is use actuall clothing brands for my outfit descriptions, and maybe things said wearer is thinking about, or the attitude/persona that comes along with the clothes. But hey I'm a newbie too, I'm just trying to get a hand in things, so keep on writing and post some more. I'd love to read 'em.
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