This little poem of yours popped up on the random Review & Review page so thought I take a look.
I like your musing over having writer's block. It's true, sometimes all it takes is to look beyond a thing to see the spark of an idea for something to write about. Even a blank page such as what you started with when this poem began.
I know it's a writing style to capitalize each line, but it's not mandatory with poetry. You could also try capitalizing just the starts of sentences instead of lines. Your choice, of course.
Thank you for sharing and keep searching for those ideas!
Oh man, your words entwine like a velvet rope circling around my senses.
Your poem popped up on the Read & Review page and when I saw it was yours, knew I was in for a treat.
What a beautiful sonnet. Velvet, brings to mind soft, luxuriant textures, a perfect sensuous and romantic name to write about.
Can't think of the name of this type of sonnet but seems well executed with rhymes schemes and syllables. The iambics are a bit off in places, but it's still a very nice poem.
Hi Jackiesmuse,
This cute little story popped up on the Read & Review page so had a look.
I enjoyed reading about Louisa. I don't know if you were writing under a word count constraint, but I would have been interested to know a bit more about her. Not a lot because of the short length of the story, but a little snippet here and there. Her personality shows ... might be fun if you could show us a little of how she looks to match.
I tried to guess where this was heading as I read it, but I went in the wrong direction. so good for not revealing too soon.
I thought the title could have been something catchier. I may have passed it by if I had been choosing something to read from a list of stories.
All in all, I enjoyed this read. Thanks for sharing.
Your story popped up on the "Read & Review" page, so decided to give it a read.
It touches on a small incident in the life of an immigrant trying to make a go of it in a new country. Though the problem is small, the wrong name on a nametag, it's a much deeper issue for the protagonist who has felt a loss of identity in more ways than this oversight.
I like the gentle way the issue is resolved. It's like a happy ending but not over the top.
I only found one area that I had to reread several times and that is this line: "I considered as I looked over my shoulder at the slightly-scuffed name tag that had been slapped onto the fridge in such a manner that the magnet meant to anchor it onto the thick, cotton shirt peeked out from behind it,"
It seems long and rambling and was hard for me to understand. My thought was it could possibly be broken into two sentences?
Also, the mention of the "thick, cotton shirt" in that line and also in the last line was a bit repetitive in such a short story. Perhaps another word for thick would work.
I like your writing style. It's nice to read your work.
I just love the simplicity of this poem AND the complexity of it. I love the "quiet moment" you mention. Fresh fallen snow IS quiet, pure and simple. And even though I don't like the cold of winter and tell everyone I don't like snow... I can't help but get that giggly feeling from childhood inside me and see that indeed it is peaceful and beautiful. A feeling that most people will also appreciate at the sight. You say it so simply in your words. Nicely done.
Hi Jacky This cute little story popped up on the "read and review" page. After reading it I see the significance of the title. Very fitting.
As a reader I wondered about the age of Lilly and how Ted is related. Are they brother and sister? The fact that Lilly is going to stop at the grocers to buy more peanut butter says she's an older child. It could be Ted is a spouse and dad lives with them. Just questions, nothing too critical.
Another nitpick (and a teeny nitpick it is) in this sentence, the word 'only' is used twice: "...knowing her father only too well, “I only want to know if..."
Hi Megan,
This is a great collection of merit badges and trinkets you've made! I hope you don't mind that I collected a bunch of the trinkets I didn't already have. I really loved the purple cats, especially the purple lion. I thank you very much!
Funny, I must have watched a lot of TV back then. If you were to do one with current TV shows, I'd fail miserably because I mostly watch movies these days.
Found this in the entries for the Bard's Hall St. Patrick's Day contest. What I like about this entry is it's different from the rest. It's wonderfully funny and on top of that the rhythm and rhymes are an extra delight. Don't always find that in an acrostic. Well done! It may be a teensy bit redundant in places, but kids like that and they like this too.
Best wishes
What a touching poem. It brought tears to my eyes. I could feel the love and admiration for your father in each line. He gave you strength in many ways and now you in turn display that strength by bravely saying goodbye and comforting both you and him in the end with these words:
"Please don't worry for me,
I know you are now free,
And that for you, things are better this way."
I saw you posted this on the news feed and thought I'd take a look.
I really enjoyed reading it ... loved the silliness. Also the picture you found to go with it is perfect. haha I think you ought to make "nonsense" one of your genres, though. For some reason this story kind of reminds me of an old 50's song called "The Thing" by Phil Harris. Not sure why.
If the musical fire's indeed gone out, you could maybe learn to play the bellows.
Hello Jack Stone,
I found your wonderful poem when I clicked on the Read and Review link. What a great idea to give to a husband-to-be. The shovel alone can be a useful tool but these wise words can be invaluable to a couple just starting on a new unknown journey, such as marriage can be. Wise advice in a nicely written poem.
Thought I'd have a look at your Port for something to review to return the favor.
I found this poem to be so honest and simple. I like that. No pretense, just showing your emotions while giving the reader a glimpse of your life.
For me the first three lines could be condensed a bit...
"facing the home I've made and
the mess my son has made of it"
perhaps find another way to express "the home I made" since "made" is used in the next line and the phrase is also used further down in the poem. But also, I think repetition can work if it is emphasized and not accidental.
You might consider changing overwhelm to overwhelmed so it becomes and adjective of how you feel and not a verb. And also consider omitting "maybe some" and just say anger. Be decisive.
If it feels like I did too much picking at your writing, I apologize. It was meant to be helpful. It's a good poem.
Hi Ken,
I saw this posted in Grumpy's Poetry Contest and had to drop in and let you know how much it made me smile... that is up until these lines:
"I had always dreamed of a BMW.
I've changed my dreams – a BM will do!"
Then I burst out laughing and the tears filled my eyes. I had to get control of myself to finish reading the last stanza. Too funny! Great fun to read.
Thank you!
Interesting. This popped up on the "Read and Review" page. I remember glancing at this in the newsfeed a few months ago but didn't stop to read it thoroughly. So now I'm curious enough to see how it works ... but mostly wanted to collect the trinket. Two birds with one stone.
I'm not sure I'll have need of the Automatic Review Response system, but it's nice to have this information for future reference. Thank you!
Wow! I hope to never see a mutiny like this! I can't imagine just how miserable the body must feel!
The confusion I experienced in the first version has pretty well been cleared up. I feel the change in format helped to express what is happening. It's more clear and I could almost feel the sickness setting it! Good job!
The idea behind this is still a most unique subject. You did it justice.
I saw that someone had reviewed this and gave it 5 stars, so I thought I'd have a look to see what impressed the other reviewer.
This is a very nicely written short piece and I enjoyed reading it. Your character's personality was cleverly shown as he looked at himself in the mirror. I wished I'd also had a quick description of his looks, along with how he looked in his uniform, such as square jaw, blue eyes or blonde crewcut.
The story followed in an orderly manner, and all made perfect sense to the end.
This is just my opinion, but I kind of wished it would have had one or two more lines after the “HELL NO, WE WON’T GO!” bit. It seemed a little abrupt to me. Did he turn and go after that? What did he think? What did he see or hear after his announcement?
I like your polished writing style. Thank you for sharing.
Hi Anni,
I saw this pop up in the newsfeed a while back and made a mental note to return and read when time allowed. So here I am.
You always come up with such interesting subject matter and this is no exception. So ... your body has mutinied against you? Very interesting though I couldn't quite figure out who the narrator is. Is there more than one voice? Maybe the italicized one-liners threw me off because it felt like more lines were also spoken but not given special emphasis as the third line in each stanza was. I feel you could probably omit either the quotation marks or the italics. But that's just me.
The poetry form: Alouette. It seems interesting with its rhyme scheme and syllable count but I gotta say even after researching it online and reading examples, I found it a bit difficult to read. I kept trying to force a rhythm that is just not there. You did get the form right though.
There were some really stand-out lines that I enjoyed.
"Seasick and shut in
Locked, this cage of ribs"
"The world blinks too fast
I don't want to know what's next"
Perhaps adding more punctuation would help the reader (me) to know where breaks should be, since with form poetry you can't always place the breaks where you might otherwise as in like free verse. I found it a little confusing.
I like the idea behind this... maybe it needs a bit more clarification. But I know... I'm not always the sharpest thinking reader.
Greetings Adherennium.
Just dropping off a donation. When somebody here on WDC is as generous as you are to other members, I always wonder, "Have they won a lottery or could they actually use some extra gps."
Saw this on the newsfeed where your description caught my eye. I was pleased to see it entered in Lornda's Humorous Poetry Contest. I just entered one this evening.
By about the third stanza I had it figured out. Even so, I thoroughly enjoyed your humor. Well done! I started out suggesting punctuation, but heck...it's a style, your style, so never mind. Your rhythm and rhyme and line breaks are done so well, punctuation is not needed.
What can I say but you've got a winner here! Thanks for sharing.
Hi MF,
You requested a review so thought I'd have a look.
You really need to carefully read through this piece and try to clean it up a bit. The first thing I noticed is how it's presented. With an article this long, it can be overwhelming to see big chunks of writing without line breaks, maybe even possibly causing a reader to not finish reading. Perhaps add more line breaks between paragraphs.
There are inconsistencies in your font size. I can understand this if you are trying to draw attention to certain passages to make things stand out ... but there seems to be some areas of very tiny font, which for me doesn't work. It feels like a lot of copy/pasting happening.
I'd suggest at the beginning remove your name from the first line.
In the first paragraph there is unneeded repetition with the lines: "There are many ways...". Two lines later the same words again. Work on condensing.
After reading just a little here and a little there, I find I could not read the whole article as presented. Sorry.
This is a really good idea for a word search. The names of poetry forms are definitely not your average word, so makes it more of a challenge. I was pretty amazed at myself for knowing and finding over half of them fairly easily without constantly looking at the list because I have used many of the forms and knew the names already. The others... well they took a little more time. I always struggle with the backwards diagonal words! Yes, Bianca has a great page with many forms to try out. Thanks for posting this.
This story has got to be one of the most original ideas I've read in a long time. It's so well written too, but that's no surprise to me.
I'm just going to point out one little typo. "It (If) the effect were (was?) half as good as on television, it would fool anyone, at least for a few moments.
Thank you for the read and the smile. Off to bed now ... on plain ol' white sheets!
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It may be a teensy bit redundant in places, but kids like that and they like this too. 
Bravo!!! 
Yes, Bianca has a great page with many forms to try out. Thanks for posting this.