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Review of By the Plaza  Open in new Window.
Review by Bluemoon44 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Think the premise is good. The story has potential; a young man in pre-1910, wanting to find his own way, rebelling against convention. The biggest things jumping out at me right now are the grammar, punctuation, etc. I think it's hard to differentiate past conversations with Dad from the thoughts running through his head. Long dashes are too frequent and I had trouble discerning the past from the present. EX: "It just [didn't]doesn’t click in his head. His father [had]has no regard for culture, no interest in music or art[;] —save [his]is [love of]adoration for the color green [no dash]—[and this is a wee, bitty tiny afterthought]or history." Also, pay attention to language usage as it would have been in 1907; this is a proper and privileged young man. I am interested in seeing where the story takes him. Good luck!
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