love this. some lines that conjure pictures that say 'I've been there!' Love the idea of a red bud tree throughout, non-specific and the charm and comfort the place brings as seasons change. Well done 1
Well written. Crystalizes depression realistically. Both myself and of late my son ( now 30) have suffered serious bouts of depression. I can identify with your thoughts esp. the recurring, nagging nature of this illness ( which by the way is still not always dealt with effectively by the medical profession or understood by others) For my son, a return to his Christian roots and the love, prayers and fellowship helped together with his gift of creating music ( now praise songs)
A good piece . I like the line It is a sweet fragrance which flows in.......
not sure about text language but then I suppose I'm getting 'old in the tooth' Happiness is a subject I've also thought and written about ( see my portfolio & give your thoughts if time allows)
Keep up the good work. Brian
As an old newby now , I was encouraged by reviews so must try to review others. I think you've made an excellent start. Some lovely lines :-Silent sickness knits her brows
I think I would call poem a lament. Difficult at times to figure out but take it the girl could take pain no more and so she took her life. Rhyming poetry can be one of the hardest forms with danger of becoming contrived. This may have worked better in free verse. Take care with spelling too. ' her bodies..' should be her body's..nonetheless good effort. Keep it up :)
Just a short review. You've captured the dread and darkness of many here, maybe even yourself if personal. depression can be like this , a feeling of being trapped, a 'prisoner' in your own soul. Just to say that there is HOPE for any in this situation as I've found myself. Nice rhyme and rhythm .
May change the last phrase to 'there's simply no more' , just smoother I think. Keep writing .
Hi ...interesting. Hard to fathom in places but an element of mystery is not a bad thing. Gets you guessing or surmising. I'm also a 'newbie' and actually wrote about a lady in white that started me wondering. A good start. Keep it up!
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