\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/birol
Review Requests: OFF
2 Public Reviews Given
0 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of THE LEGACY  Open in new Window.
Review by Lori Basiewicz Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
This is a good little wish-fulfillment story. It has a beginning, a middle, and an end, and a nice little twist at the end. Some of the word choices seem a little off, such as: receding shoreline (Was the shoreline really growing farther away?), nonplussed, fraud squad (This sounds less like an official investigative unit and more like something from a b-movie or a cartoon), erstwhile friends.

I have a hard time believing the detective who discovered the manuscript sat down and read it straight through and instantly knew that was exactly how the crime had happened. If he had the details that were in the manuscript, he would have known more about where to look for the stolen money than he did. Also, as a long-time member of the middle-class, boarding school seems to be more the domain of the wealthy -- at least in the States, but maybe you and your character live elsewhere? I'm also not certain about the "low tech disks" comment. Seems to try to shove this story into the realm of science fiction, but it doesn't make it.

Again, overall this is very well written. The dialogue is smooth and flows well and the character is believable.
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/birol