Missing Beth a lovely little poem. What I like most about your poem is the thoughtful words used to express why you missed Beth. A few more examples build up about why you missed Beth could add additional spice to this already excellent poem.
Creative plot and set up. I like the dialog and conflict between the character. I liked the description environment. I was a little lost between scenes however. Also I was not sure who the bad guys were.
Short yet beautiful poem. An independent person that is not impressed by the crowd. The crowd is interested in things you are not. You wrap up the poem nicely by stating what you like. There is not much room for improvement however I would like to see a few more examples of your theme "Do you see what I see"?
Your writing Fall a piece in the Flash Fiction genre. It leave a lot to the reader's imagination. At first I assume this was about a seriously ill person preparing to die. However, it was about a individual reflection about his life before a trill ride. I was caught off guard but you still kept true to the theme of the story. Nice job. I think it is a very effective technique to have a twist at the end of the story.
It is a deep poem. I had to read it a couple of times to get a mean for me. Each time I read it I got a little different meaning. I saw conflict and contrast. Everything seem to have a layer of some type. The pictures painted in the words used gave a vivid image. At the end of the poem I felt as if I just finish a story of moral.
In a very short piece you said a lot. The emotion of the player. The pride of his supportive Dad. I can imagine the feeling I would have to see my child performing this task. What might help your piece even more is to mention how hot it was that day? The sweat poured in his eyes as he waited for the pitch.
I enjoy reading this poem. I guess it is true no news is good news. I felt the same emotion while reading your poem. Your written in a conversational format kind of like you were telling me a story. Very easy to follow and excellent techique. I sometimes get upset if I have to wait for good news too. An excellent point.
I love the ryhme I love the story. Its flow and build up keep me on the edge of my seat. You kept true to the theme of the poem thu out the poem. I also liked the slight miss direction about the hooker at the end. I did not see much room for improvement. You might consider adding a little more disappointment with emotion at the end.
The structures and techiques you used to present this material is excellent. It was easy to follow and understand. I will use it as a guide to improve my writing.
I enjoyed the poem overall. I especially enjoy your selection of words and the journey you gave the reader. The weakest part of the poem is the ending. It left me hanging.
Interesting format. In the beginning, I was not sure whether you were having a dream or a nightmare. The beginning started off kind of slow. I understood the concept of dream caughter. At this point in your story the pace began to increase. I would recommend you streamline some unneccessary words. I felt at the end you wrapped up the story nicely. The plot seem to flow pretty good.
WOW! What a wonderful wedding story. The point of view from the groom eyes. I could feel your emotions. The use of word expressed the joy that was felt. Close to the end of the story you could have given a name to the honeymoon location and not use a generic name. I really enjoyed this piece.
I enjoyed your style and form. It was easy to read and understand. The structure was logical outlining the passage of time. A possible improvement would be the addition of more emotional adjectives in the middle section of this piece. Overall I enjoyed your poem.
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