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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/bgina
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Review of I Am  Open in new Window.
Review by ginagal Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Great story! I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.
The story has a beautiful intriguing opening paragraph and a captivating plot. The voice of the narrator is simple, direct and well written and the main character resonates well with the readers.

A couple of errors. I have given suggestions but feel free to research before making changes.
yet they proved I’m here (yet they prove I’m here or Yet they proved I was here)
Years ago I had went to school (Years ago I had gone to school)
All was well and good until (All was okay?)
I never came back. (I never went back?)
I know this area well. (I knew this area well? Or perhaps it’s the character’s inner thoughts?)
I slipped out the back to wait until he realized she was not there. (Sounds off, consider revision)
your place is in community (Your place is in the community?)
the initial shock worn off. (Sounds off, consider revising.

All in all this is a great story. Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!
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