TYPOS AND SUCH:
"It’s contents"
"Fletcher stormed passed the forgotten kitchen appliances." "Stormed past..." or "Fletcher passed the forgotten..."?
"(...) and headed for living room (...)".
"(...) she was greeted with an empty sofa (...)" - greeted by, perhaps?
"(...)and seen something quite horrifying." Saw something maybe?
"(...) bursting into room with her arms outstretched (...)" - "the" room is what I assume you had intended.
"(...)began to ascent the mattress (...)" - ascend, probably.
OTHER POINTERS:
"that it were still there" - the "were" instead of "was" risks starting to seem overused and layed on, unnatural, when applied many times with short interval.
"aside from the occasional limb that stuck out obviously" - I don't understand the "obvious"-part. Is it "obviously, from the occasional limb that stuck out", or "of course but for the occasional limb that..." or something like that? Rather confusing.
Arcane usage of the semicolon. "something familiar about the man; underneath the darkness of Fletcher’s own mind." I would look into that.
"He ignored it, storming past (...)" - Seems kind of repeating, since the expression was used just before.
"It was rarely that Fletcher used the toilet instead of just urinating over the garbage and across the walls; there was no real point in following the laws of society since he wasn’t going to be alive for much longer." I think it's supposed to be: "It was rare that(...)". "Rarely" in this context changes the meaning into something completely different. Also, the semicolon again. They are usually used to describe a serial relationship within a sentence. It becomes a very strange reading experience when it is applied to things not in a series. A set of parentheses or a dash would suffice in this specific sentence.
"Sarah, a little shocked and pitiful for her friend" - I'm not sure what being pitiful for someone entails. "... a little shocked and pitying her friend" may be more correct.
"As she entered through the front door, her home had been unnaturally cold, the atmosphere somewhat bleak." The first phrase in the sentence, and the rest of this paragraph, is not written in a had-been-way or this-is-a-memory-way (not sure about the grammatical term. Hehe.). The error leaves you waiting for her to do something about the cold air, as to make it not be cold anymore, which is what the phrasing implies will come to happen.
"realising exactly what the familiar smell was; the smell of sex, once erotic and passionate, now intrusive and oppressive, a horror." This is the best example of the misusage of the semicolon (don't worry - you are far from being the only one). "(...)familiar smell was; the smell of sex(...)", where the semicolon should be exchanged for a regular colon. However, the phrase "once erotic and passionate, now intrusive(...)" could be altered by presenting it to a semicolon: "once erotic and passionate; now intrusive and oppressive(...)".
Now for some brute honesty. "(...)grabbing his arm and staring into his eyes with furious passion. Fletcher was sucked into Paul’s blue eyes, mesmerised by his boyish charm, and captured by his arrogant confidence. He almost melted in the man’s arms. The two men had kissed then, passionately and unhopefully, and later made a promise to see each other again." Harlequin, anyone? These kinds of descriptions feel very superficial and manufactured. Falling in love and other intimate feelings can be something very deep and shaking in real life, and therefore also in a piece of art. The impact that can have on a story is not done justice in this paragraph. I would advice that you reach within the depths of your otherwise very talented mind, to find your personal descriptions of love and infatuation.
"(...)had wanted to keep her pain to a minimum; Paul hadn’t given a shit." You are correct, sir. 
"(...) its voice oppressive and demanding (...)" - very good description. That is just what loud, irritating sounds are. Why have I never thought of that?
"(...) cars still glazed past in a smear of headlights (...)" - wonderfully awesome.
You are very good at building scenery, which is important to a story that takes place inside such a limited physical area. Through subtle quirks in description, you ascribe the character's home - or prison - an almost sentient quality ("The fleshy doorway seemed to throb as he passed."), giving a very creepy mood to the whole story. Rotting flesh is not ones ideal item of habitation - especially when there is no superintendent to call and scream at.
Love your similies. To the point and accurate, conveying just what needs to be: "the thought of unwrapping his identity unnerved him, like the unravelling of an unbearable wound".
"A geyser of vomit hurled up through Sarah’s oesophagus, burning her throat and bursting through her lips with unstoppable force, parting them forcefully with a groan as it emerging spectacularly into the air." I love this one. Such a poetic way of saying: "She barfed." Wonderful.
I think that internal monologues or some other device would really aid in getting closer to the characters. They sometimes slip away and become unpersonal. Giving them more of an inner life, and some individual traits that personify them and make them feel as people you could know in real life, would do a lot.
The story itself is interesting and thought-provoking. The description of Fletcher's home turned lair in the beginning is very impressive and professional-looking. There is a subtle desperation that I have a wekness for. You don't simply write: "This is horrible! Look at this poor guy!" Instead, you detail the scenery, which develops into the right emotional state. Super. How you let the scenery sort of tell this part of the story is brilliant.
At first, I thought it was really weird how you changed perspectives from Fletcher's to his wife's, but as I kept reading "her story", it seemed as clear as daylight that this was the right way to write this part. I don't know why. It's unusal, but very good. Keep doing those kinds of unexpected things. Also, keep writing with your vivid and refreshing language. Most importantly, though: keep writing.
Needless to say, you are a very talented writer, having written one of the more serious and ambitious works I have read on this website the short time I have been here.
Be Free!
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