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169 Public Reviews Given
229 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Belest Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
slarg Author Icon

I liked your overall a message of this poem, however the actually body of this poem was not my favorite. First off the flow of this poem was very choppy which made it hard to read, an exapmle of this is the vast differences in line lenght, some lines were long while the one directly after it would be only two words, another example is the line "I came down with the flu, she was always" if i was you i would have made it two seperate lines because reading that was difficult and extremely choppy. It seems to me that this is simply your "syle" which, if that's the case, simply discredit my comments. If you read my poetry you'll see i write with more of a traditional slant, proper punctuation, uniform rhyme scheme, closely matching line lenght, ect. Which would mean that we just have clashing ideals when it comes to poetry. You may take my opinions or leave them, whichever you choose i still enjoyed reading this poe. Thank you for sharing and write on!

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Review by Belest Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
InkWellspring66 Author Icon

I enjoyed this poem, it nicely described summer. This poem was on the shorter end, but it expressed, what I thought, was plenty of detail. You had nice imagery, flow was a little bumpy and needs a little bit of fine tunning.
Overall this was a well written poem. Thank you for sharin this poem and I hope that you continue to write and post more.

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Review of Spin Cycle  Open in new Window.
Review by Belest Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
SeaSalt Author Icon

I enjoyed this poem. I enjoyed the figurative language of the first stanza, the only thing that I would change it make "50 cent" to "half dollar" one thing is that it is more visually appealing and another is that it flows a bit better, but that is just my opinion and you can use it or not, your choice. I enjoyed how you compared your life to laundry, very different, very creative, very good. Overall not much to say about this poem, it was well written and I enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing this poem and I hope that you continue to write and post more.

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Review of Irreplaceable  Open in new Window.
Review by Belest Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
mARi☠StressedAtWork Author Icon

I enjoyed this poem. I enjoyed how the first two lies of each stanza started with the same two words, "He told," "He said," and "I tried." I also like how you repeated the same thing in the fourth line, this sounded good to me. I enjoyed the flow and the a-a-a-a rhyme scheme of each stanza. Overall this is a well written poem with no visible errors, great job. Thank you for sharing this poem and I hope that you continue to write and post more, and from what I have seen is that you have written a lot.
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Review of My Love  Open in new Window.
Review by Belest Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
mARi☠StressedAtWork Author Icon

I enjoyed this poem, it was a sweet poem about love. The rainbow of colors of the first stanza was a bit too much for me, I like how you had the following stanza, one solid color. I would get read of the "and" and the beginning of the last line of the first stanza, so each line in that stanza starts with like, better for visual reasons. I enjoyed the first stanza, the flow of it and the similes. In the second stanza I would change the "impossible" to something else, because having "impossible" and "possible" so close it makes it clash, but that is just my opinion. I would put an "it" at the beginning of the fourth line of the second stanza. Thank you for sharing this poem and I hope that you continue to write and post more.
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Review of Black And White  Open in new Window.
Review by Belest Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Belest's Poetry Port Raids...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
mARi☠StressedAtWork Author Icon

I enjoyed this poem, having the the title be coloring full and then putting that into each stanza was brillaint. Using "his smile" instead of saying his love/his heart was briliant, by reading you could understand what you really meant but you didn't have to actually say it, great job. In the second stanza, fourth line I would chang ethe "in" to "into" and I liked how you said "sinks deeper in black and white" which to me sounded like drift farther away from me, you said it subtly without drawing attention to the fact. In the third stanza, third line I would changed the "has" into "had." I enjoyed how in ever stanza two things stayed constant, "wooden table" and "black and white" I just enjoyed the steadyness of that. I also enjoyed how in the last line you summed up what you had been saying all along, great job. Overall this was a very well written poem and I hope that you continue to wrtie and post more.
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Review by Belest Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
mARi☠StressedAtWork Author Icon

I enjoyed this poem, this poem showed grief and heart break, a powerful poem. The red and black of the poem I enjoyed very much, it had a similar color scheme to your other poem "Silence." Describing the music with colors, ""the music once colored pink and red." pink and red being the color of hearts, and in most people minds, love adn then you change that "Now blackened by your lies;hollow, dead!" I loved the change in color, black seeming like a color of dead and darkness rather than the purity of the red and pink of love. The only thing that I would change about he first stanza is to get read of the exclamation point, it just doesn't seem to fit but that is just my opinion.

You have great flow and pretty good rhyme in the second stanza, the only issue with the rhyme is the imperfect rhyme of "softly" and "me" but not that noticible. "The strings of love played ever softly" brilliant, very weel done. In the third stanza, I don't think that either of the exclamation points are needed, but that is just my opinion. I loved how you stuck with the "Melody of the broken hearted" throughout the whole poem, having the music colored, strings of love played, symphony, songs, I loved the continual metaphor, very good job. Overall this was a wondefully written poem. Thank you for sharing this poem and I hope that you continue to write and post more.
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Review of Unwanted  Open in new Window.
Review by Belest Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (4.5)
mARi☠StressedAtWork Author Icon

I enjoyed this poem, it showed the sadness behind having your heart broken. You have great flow, rhythm, and rhyme and that really adds to the poem. I don't think that the comma in the third line of the third stanza is needed, to me it sounds better uniterupted, but that is just my opinion. The "bereft" in the fourth line of the fourth stanza doesn't make a lot of sense to me, it seems that you used it simply because of the fact that it rhymed with "left" but i may be wrong. Overall a very well written poem, I enjoyed how you made the last three words of the poem bold, you ended with a bang. Thank you for sharing this poem and I hope that you continue to write and post more.
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Review of Silenced  Open in new Window.
Review by Belest Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
mARi☠StressedAtWork Author Icon

I enjoyed this poem. I enjoyed the use of color changes, it draws your eyes into the poem. You have great flow and rhyme in this poem and I think that added to the poem. I like the alliteration of the first line of the second stanza, it made the line fun. The last stanza, especially the last to lines, where very powerful, I liked the red of that stanza to go along with the blood, I really don't have a lot to say about this poem, it was well written, powerful and I really enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing this poem and I hope that you continue to write and post more.
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Review of THIS BROKEN HEART  Open in new Window.
Review by Belest Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (4.0)
mARi☠StressedAtWork Author Icon

I enjoyed this poem, and I noticed that the three poems I reviewed so far, and this one, all had a set syllable count, is that a contest requirement or your choice, just wondering? The first stanza was well written, I especially enjoyed the four line and its description, "sinfully imperfect" great job there. I liked how you used the ugly duckling/swan analogy, that was very well done. The "probably a weakling" didn't really work for me, it just didn't seem to fit the poem in my opinion. I don't think that the semicolon is needed at the end of the third line, I think you should just let it flow onto the next line. In the fourth line I would change the "from" to "in" so it would read "Kindness and acceptance, they were both in you." I think this sounds better, but that is just my opinion. I would get read of the comma after "was" in the next line, just let the thought flow together instead of breaking it up. The final line in that stanza didn't really make sense to me, "Nobody told me everything was too late." the "too late" just doesn't make sense in my opinion, In the third stanza, first line the "used" should be changed to a "use." I enjoyed this poem of heart break, a poem that all most everybody can relate to, you did a great job with this acrostic poem. Thank you for sharing this poem and I hope that you continue to write and post more.
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Review of Black Hole  Open in new Window.
Review by Belest Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
mARi☠StressedAtWork Author Icon

I enjoyed this poem. The first line of the first stanza and the first line of the second stanza stood out to me with the format with the "--" and then ending with an exclamation point, I enjoyed that. With the second line I would make the second comma into a period so it would read, "Pulling me, drowning me. All the sadness." these to me makes more sense, but that is just my opinion. This poem has great flow and rhyme, it really added to the poem. I think that the exclamation point at the end of the second line of the second stanza would be better as a period, but that is just me. In the third stanza, second line, put a comma after "your shadows" so it will read, "your shadows, like monsters, for a legion." also I would make "shadows" singular because it sounds better in my opinion. I would change "space" at the end of the fourth line to "place" it just makes more sense to me. I loved the fourth stanza, my favorite of all of them. Overall this was a very well written poem which I enjoyed a lot. Thank you for sharing this poem and I hope that you continue to write and post more.
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Review of Almost Eighteen  Open in new Window.
Review by Belest Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (4.5)
mARi☠StressedAtWork Author Icon

I really enjoyed this poem, it was a powerful piece in my opinion, "Walked in alive, then out dead form that alley..." with a side of darkness. There isn't really anything for me to say on this one, flow is great, rhyme is superb, word choice is top notch. Really the only thing that I have to comment on is you use "merry way" which, I'm not certain, but seems to be a cliche, possibly change the adjective, merry, to keep away from frequently used expressions such as that, unless case you are using the cliche purposelly then go right ahead and use it. Overall I really enjoyed this poem, it was very well written with no visible errors. Thank you for sharing this poem and I hope that you continue to write and post more.
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Review of Spellbound  Open in new Window.
Review by Belest Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
mARi☠StressedAtWork Author Icon

I enjoyed this poem. I enjoyed the a-a-sea-a rhyme but I didn't like how you used "see" because of the fact that it seemed like you had an a-a-a-a rhyme and that just doesn't sound quite right to me, and if I was you I would think about chaning that, but that is just my opinion. I like you word choice, very good descriptions. I enjoyed the oxymoron in the second stanza, "raging calmness" that painted a great picture for me, great use of figurative language. The second stanza had great flow which really made the poem all the more enjoyable.

I loved the first line of the third stanza, it was brillaint, I'm not sure what I liked about it, it just felt right, do you know that feeling? I myself would change the last line from "some of nature's wonders" to "one of nature's wonders" simply because of the fact you say "spellbinding sea" sea being singular while "wonders" is plural, therefor I think using "one" instead would make it sound better. I enjoyed the fourth stanza, really well written but one thing and I just think it will add to the sea image you have going on is with the second line, change it to "to ocean's melody" this keeps with your syllable count and I think it adds a little extra, but this is just my opinion.

In all honesty the fifth stanza really didn't make sense to me, why are you talking about magic towers, I thought the poem was about the sea. I'm really sure what you are doing there. I enjoyed the sixth stanza, no problems that I can see, great job. I enjoyed your final stanza, you rap up all loose ends nicely. Overall I really enjoyed this poem, you did a wonderful job especially by staying with the set syllable count, great job. Thank you for sharing this poem and I hope that you continue to write and post more.
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Review of poetry  Open in new Window.
Review by Belest Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
a. waits Author Icon

After reading all your poems I can see that you are a good poet with a lot of natural talent. I hope that you get more reviews on your items. Overall you did a great job with all your poetry and I hope that you continue to write and post more.
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Review of Consequence  Open in new Window.
Review by Belest Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
a. waits Author Icon

I enjoyed this poem. From the very start I can see that this poem has great flow, it was read very easily and also had nice rhyme. In the first stanza, third line you have "toward" and I may be wrong but I think that it is suppose to be "towards" just something to check up on. I really enjoyed the metaphor of "greener grass" that was very well done. After finishing the first stanza and begginning on the second I was looking forward to the a-a-b-b rhyme that I enjoyed so much in the first stanza to see that it was replaced by a c-d-e-d rhyme which I didn't enjoy quite as much, and I'm not sure why you decided not to carry that rhyme on to the second stanza. I enjoyed this third stanza, one question I have is the reason behind capitalizing "One" when seeing that it makes me think that you are talking about God, because of the fact that you capatilize the first letter when reffering to him but because of your poem it seems that you aren't reffering to God so I'm abit confused of the reason behind the capalization. In the third stanza second line I would change the "to" into "and." Overall I really enjoyed this poem, it was well written, good word choice, excellent. Thank you for sharing this poem and I hope that you continue to write and post more.
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Review by Belest Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
a. waits Author Icon

I enjoyed this poem. One thing I noticed, and you did this is the first and second stanza, is that you ended a line with "that" which to me would be better pushed to the front of the next line. For me when I'm reading the lines that you ended with that I read it like this "Connected to a string that (pause) Tugs my heart each time you breathe" while if it was just a sentece (like for example in a paragraph rather than a poem) I would read it as "Connected to a string (pause) that Tugs my heart each time you breathe." this to me is just more nature, so if I was you I would push the "that" over to the start of the next line in the example I used and also from the third to the fourth line in the second stanza.

The second stanza has a great metaphor, saying that the voice is a compass, that was great work and I would just get read of the "north" because the direction isn't what matters, I know you are trying to go with the compass metaphor but compasses lead you ways other than north and the person may not be to the north so I would just leave it as "Led me into you arms" but that is just my opinion.

In the third stanza I would combine the fourth and fifth line to read "Can only survive in your hands" this to me flows better also it keeps with the previous two stanzas that both only have four lines. I would then combine the single line with the fourth stanza so it also has the pattern of four lines for each stanza. Overall this is a very touching poem, with only a few things to look at and you did a great job on it. Thank you for sharing this and I hope that you continue to write and post more.
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Review of Loneliness  Open in new Window.
Review by Belest Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
michellekeyes

I enjoyed this poem, you had great word choice and the poem flowed nicely. Overall I really enjoyed this poem, it was well written and had no visible errors. Thank you for sharing this poem and I hope that you continue to write and post more.

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Review by Belest Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Fairport Author Icon

I enjoyed this poem. A comment I have is in the first stanza when you say "And to its whisper will enthrall Its beckon to be free" I am a little confused what you are trying to say here, are these lines connected or two seperate thoughts because I'm not exactly sure how to read it currently? Your second stanza is perfectly written, great flow, nice word choice, perfect. I especailly like when you said "loathing spin", "inward flight to darken soul" and "plight of sin" great word choice, fantastic. In the third stanza, third line you say "A treachery to muse and sane" in this case it looks like you are using "sane" as an verb but it is only an adjective, not quite sure what you were trying to say there. I enjoyed your final stanza but I have a question with the second to last line "Unless the blood to spoil the burn" I'm not sure what you are trying to say here, this is just my opinion. Overall this is a well written poem, with great flow and word choice. Thank you for sharing this poem and I hope that you continue to write and post more.

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Review of Synchronicity  Open in new Window.
Review by Belest Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (4.5)
JACE Author Icon

I enjoyed this poem. This looks to be a difficult form of poetry to use, and even more difficult to master but you were able to conquer it and write a great poem. Overall this poem was well written with no visible errors and a great theme to it. Thank you for sharing this poem and I hope that you continue to write and post more.

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Review of In Search of Sun  Open in new Window.
Review by Belest Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Michael A. Finn Author Icon

I enjoyed this poem. A comment that I do have is when you say "They say the night is darkest" I think it would sound better if you replaced the "the" with "that" so it would read "They say that night is darkest" just my opinion but I think it would sound a bit better. Also you say "burdles" in the last word of the third stanza, third line. "Burdles" is not a word, I'm think that perhaps you meant burden, not sure. Also you may not like punctuation, but I think that adding some would help the poem flow a bit easier because I'm not sure when to pause and when to continue reading, again just my opinion. Overall this is a very well written poem that I enjoyed very much. Thank you for sharing this poem and I hope that you continue to write and post more.

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Review of The Pipe's Cry  Open in new Window.
Review by Belest Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Fairport Author Icon

I enjoyed this poem, it showed emotion and feelings, very well written. You had excellent word choice within this poem: "solemn ground", "Lightly piercing", "cadence pulse" and "The fairest veiled dark from the light." This poem had nice flow, with only one thing that bothered me, the lack of punctuation. When reading this over without punctuation it was a bit hard to figure out when to pause, when to continue, ect. this is just my opinion, and you may dislike punctuation, for whatever, and you are the author so do what you think is right. Overall this is a well written poem with no visible errors, nice job. Thank you for sharing this poem and I hope that you continue to write and post more.

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Review of Butterfly Kiss  Open in new Window.
Review by Belest Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Keridwen Author Icon

I enjoyed this poem, it was romantic and elegant. You had good word choice within your poem. A comment that I have is when you say "My brows, lips, the little freckle" the last part doesn't work for me as much, especially because the rest of it is on a seperate line, just my opinion. This poem has some issues with it's flow, it is a bit bumpy and difficult to read. At one point you go a bit off topic when you say "As leaves dance joyfully To the delicate music of a zephyr." up until those lines you were talking about one thing but at that point you switched and tlaked about somthing different and if I was you I would take those two lines out, bu this is just my opion. Thank you for sharing this poem and I hope that you continue to write and post more.

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Review of Sorry Soul  Open in new Window.
Review by Belest Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
ShellySunshine Author Icon

I enjoyed this poem, it was well written and had a unique topic, giving away too much love. This poem flowed well and was overall very well written. THank you for sharing this poem and I hope that you continue to write and post more

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Review of What Shall I Say?  Open in new Window.
Review by Belest Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
C. R. Leverette Author Icon

i enjoyed this poem, it was well written and displayed emotion. The poem had nice flow to it and was easily read, nice job. Overall this was a well written poem with no visible errors, nice job. Thank you for sharing this and I hope that you continue to write and post more.

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Review of Servants of Light  Open in new Window.
Review by Belest Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Cloven Tongues of Fire Author Icon

I enjoyed this poem and the topic that you presented within it. Overall this was a well written poem and I only have a few comments for you. First in the third stanza, second line you say "can not" but it is actually spelled cannot, just something you should chagne. Secondly you have exclamation points in two seperate places, when you say "...with an Almighty God he can not contend!" and "But those in sin can never win!!" in my opinion you may want to take the exclamation points out, but you certainly should take the second exclamation point out when you say "But those in sin can never win!!" because that isn't grammaticly correct. Overall well written poem, nice topic, good job. Thank you for sharing this poem and I hope that you continue to write and post more.

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