This work definitely piqued my curiosity and I read it a few times, attempting to understand the conflict it's describing.
I appreciated that it opened with "value", then the poem later touched on both financial (fortunes) and principles in the end line.
I'm not sure if the deepest ridges line adds to the poem, it further obscures whatever the poem is trying to communicate.
Genetic concern - fortunes fading - is this a matter of breeding? Miscarriage? A lame horse you've placed a bet on?
The brain precludes - whose brain? The man or woman's? The author? Someone else entirely?
Are these two theoretical people the subjects in our conflict instigated by some unknown value?
The end runs into problems suggesting that a fib can be astute, "union" seems to be where conflict belongs.
"drama" as a word sucks the wind out of the sails of this poem and the last line served to frustrate me as a reader who had become quite curious about what this conflict was.
What are the affected principles? What moral dilemma are we facing? Perhaps with more deliberate word choice, you could answer these questions without altering the poem very much.
I liked this quite a bit and hope to see it again if it gets workshopped
The first line seems a little redundant to the "pearl earring" line; if between the title and the description the reader can't piece together that it's Vermeer, they're not your audience. Calling the impetus "Lovely" seems a little clunky. The last line sounds like a guy at a museum casually chatting to his best bloke about The Girl With The Pearl Earring - "Lovely impetus for his art, eh mate?". I did enjoy your description of her though, the use of the word "frock" was unexpected. This is definitely the first time I've asked myself how many syllables are in "smiled", haha.
Interesting poem, I very much liked the "mother god mobile" line, it's impactful and has a flow. It had me asking myself about the relationship that people have with technology and the comfort so many of us use it for. Are social media feeds our new bedtime stories? The "duckie" line did seem to undermine the potential of mother god mobile. Would be curious to see the duckie concept explored further but with perhaps a more serious note? Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed this a lot.
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