I thought it was a decent poem, although there were parts that I got lost on. I get lost on meaning and tie in of the 2nd stanza. Also, I am confused on what "scorn of clocks" have to do with the mountains, even when trying to relate it to time from the prior stanza. You did a good job on the 1,3 & 2,4 rhyme sequence but some of the words used, made me lose the picture you were trying to show.
WOW! I was immediately pulled into the story. The opening really set the mood and theme for the entire story. As I was reading, I felt like I had read this story somewhere before, but that was simply due to the post-apocalytic plot line. As I read on about the implants and the government controlling the "G-net" I just got the thought of "Big Brother to the extreme". I really liked how you played on the 2012 hype and tried to emphasize that we have to always remember our past as we move forward, otherwise we are doomed to repeat the same mistakes (I know that a quote from somebody, I just don't remember who).
Really good job, I didn't want to put it down until I finished it.
Keep Writing...
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