I take it you are working on this, and pray you hurry, because I would very much like to read more of your work. You are an excellent writer, and I hope this will be displayed in this folder.
Wow, after reading your short stories, i can say that you certainly have a knack for them. The works in this folder are all art, a well crafted collection of funny, touching, and wonderful stories. I would encourage anyone and everyone to read these. Thank you for sharing such great stories, please keep writing them!
This is one of those pieces that some readers just fall in love with. It makes us wish we had traditions and things like this, and how nice it would be to sit amongst friends like that. A warm feeling comes with this piece. You have done an excellent job on this. Thank you for sharing it! Also, those of us who have actually had Bawls feel almost closer to you, because it is not a very widespread drink. Just a little side note.
Haha, very funny piece. I liked the way you seperated the last sentence, and the "play" mixup was very cute. I noticed that you didn't start a new paragraph between the dialogue. Actually, you may have entered one, but without indents it is not evident. You could add an extra return between them, or even indent or jsut make an extra space.
Overall, you've done very well, and i hope that you continue to write these cute, touching stories.
Such a beautiful work, it brought tears to my eyes. You did a VERY good job painting this picture, and i loved it. Your description of Raleigh was so lovable, he seemed like such a nice guy. The fact that he lost love was so powerful. This story is a creative masterpiece, and you have done an excellent job. I think you have a great understanding of the language, and it flows out throughout the story.
It was a letter from a woman or girl, depending on how long he'd had the letter, it had no date.
This is a slightly long and akward sentence. Maybe you could chop it up a little, or you could place a : between the "letter" and "it" in replacement of the comma.
Again, you have done VERY well with this piece. My heart went out to Raleigh, and i will remember him, short as my visit with him was. Nice work.
Incredible. Put some of my feelings into words. I have just broken up with my long-term girlfriend, whom i had made plans with. Though my breakup was not bitter, i find many truths in my life reflected in your piece. You are truly an experienced and excellent writer. Good work. The reason i am giving you a four and not a five is because i (am probably not really qualified to review this well) do not fully understand what is meant by the line "A life of only positive aspects is quite far". Maybe with a little more it would be a five. I can only assume you meant something like "far from the truth" or "far-fetched", but these are only assumptions; please tell me if i am far from the point. You are excellent at writing these, as i can say after reading two of your pieces, so please continue. Again, i'm not sure that i am the best at this type of work, so don't pay me too much attention if i am totally off-mark. Thanks a lot, and keep on writing!
bclintho
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Truthful and honest, the world IS too full of the problems stated in your piece. People DO base way too much on looks, and those who do not have them (in the media's opinion) and those who have average looks (in the media's opinion) are left out. This is a HUGE problem, and there is no end in sight. If people truly looked on the inside for love, there would be no where near the divorce rate, the unhappiness, the depression we have now. Very well written.
Very good contrast with today's dating ideals. It has certainly changed a lot nowdays, everyone seems expected to lose their virginity even in their teen years. I liked the way this was written, and how it gives us some perspective on our lives.
Okay, well, it is a truly genuine idea. I have never seen something about an amish detective before, so you get full points on creativity. You are a very good writer, and your piece needs a little polish, but not much. One thing you may consider: as it is now, it switches from first person to third person throughout the piece. I would recommend putting Jedediah's thoughts into Italics, or single quotes even. It would just make it a much easier read.
Also, your first two sentences are a little meandering and tired. You may simply consider changing "when everything began happening" to "it began", or even consider simply scrapping it, and replacing it with some simple imagery. Focus on painting the picture before the action begins.
You did an excellent job developing the character. I think that Jedediah was a strong point in your story, and he gained instant approval with readers.
Overall, GREAT job, very creative, a special piece. Please keep writing, you are a good writer.
ZAPHOD BEEBLEBROX! i thought he was gone forever after i read that series several times. It's very nice to see him surface again. I thought that your piece was written VERY well, a hilarious story that brings back all of our favorite characters. Brilliantly original idea. Love this piece. HAHA, i liked the end a lot too. It was funny also how The phantom saw his clothes as normal and not strange at all. Great piece.
ANYONE WHO SEES THIS REVIEW, READ THIS PIECE!
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