I agree wholeheartedly with you! I very often put a book back on the shelf because I dislike the cover, and sometimes I choose between different versions of the same book purely on the basis of the front illustration.
I like the structure of this piece, and especially the first three paragraphs. They really set the scene for me.
I also agree very much with the idea that books are not disposable. I have friends who absolutely amaze me with their capacity to read a book once and get rid of it. I like to reread my favourite books over and over, and sometimes just skim a section to remind myself of the details.
This is a well-written rant in which I found no errors All the best of luck with publishing your book.
I like this poem a lot: it sums up an entire person in five very short lines, which is both clever and intriguing! I love the first two lines especially, they are a beautiful metaphor for living.
The question you ask at the very end is nice; it is almost rhetorical as you have answered it in the previous four lines.
This is a lovely new twist on a traditional problem for every parent, and is told in a very nice way.
I can imagine reading it to a child who was just learning to read for themselves, and talking about the longer words.
Jake's mom seems like the sort of understanding mother I would like to be if I ever have children!
Points for Improvement
Roughly halfway down the story there is a line where the double spacing (excellent idea by the way!) has been missed: it doesn't make a difference to the story but presentationally it's noticable.
Also, "Everybody has a Christmas star or a Christmas angle" should probably read "Christmas angel"
A final typo is at the end of this section of dialogue, where Jake's mom changes tenses part way through a sentence "we had helped eases your mind".
Other than a couple of typing mistakes (and we all have those!) this is excellent and very enjoyable. Well done!
This really made me laugh, although in my family the man actually can mend things: he just doesn't! We probably have just as many broken things as a result of this.
This is a very well written piece which is structured cleverly and delivers the "punchline" of the story excellently. I found no grammatical or spelling errors: well done!
This is a very moving piece and it is hard-hitting without being exaggerated. The opening sentence is gripping and your description of a rather complicated family situation is very clear, despite your warning that it could be confusing!
Points for Improvement
Just a small thing, but as far as I know Bible is normally spelt with a capital letter. I could be wrong but it just looks a little wrong to me. Also in that sentence the punctuation could be altered a little to run more smoothly. An example would be:
"There is one thing that my mother did that still stays with me: she read Bible stories to me."
This would just make it a little smoother to read.
Other than that, I can't find anything that I would suggest improvements on.
I agree with you about choosing your path: although I have been lucky enough to have been brought up in a stable family (or perhaps not so lucky, because who knows what experiences like these can teach you?), I have friends whose families have broken up. Some of these have gone the wrong way, and others are more responsible and mature as a result.
Once again, well done for the quality of writing in this piece.
This is a brilliant idea, and I'm very grateful for my recent upgrade. I've created a contest, and I am hoping that it will generate some gift points to donate to the group. I'm not sure whether I can link through a review but the contest is in my portfolio if this doesn't work!
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