I liked this very much. It was an easy read and I liked the way it flowed throughout. For me it says that things are confused and that will work out in the end. I feel that you kept close to the rhymes so many seem to get far away from that. This is only my opinion but I did enjoy this. I would hope that you keep writing.
The way you described the planes as the Angel of Death bringing a baby into this world is a good idea. The baby screaming its way down is like the baby being delivered. War is always chaos but peace is always found in the end. This was very enjoyable and I hope to read more from yo. Keep on writing.
You peaked my interest from the very beginning I wanted to know what happened so I had to read on.
Characters:
Your characters were all well defined. You had hoping for Marcy and David.
Plot:
Your story got my attention right away, It was a smooth and easy read and I couldn't stop, I had to see if Kayla made it back and if Marcy did too. I'm glad that there was a happy ending.
Grammar and Technical advise:
I did not see and errors that jumped out at me.
Parts I Liked:
I liked the way it ended. We all want to believe everything always turns out right for everyone.
There wasn't anything about your story I didn't like. Of course this only my opinion but I do hope that you keep on writing I would love to read something else by you.
I liked the way you did your story you caught interest from the start. The way you used the song to write it makes it even, at least for me, better. Your characters were well defined. I feel you filled in what she left out. They were believable to me because I've know people like them. { like the talking around the dinner table that was something we did, too. I didn't see any errors that jumped out at me. Iliked the flow and the pace of the story. It was enjoyable.
I really liked this. It flowed smoothly for me beginning to end.. It caught my eye because my Mother-in-law passed just recently. I didn't any errors that jumped out at me. I liked the way you began this poem it made me want to read more. I feel that it did as you wished for to, makw someone at ease.
Of course this is only my opinion. Keep on qriting..
Initial hook:
In the beginning I wasn't sure that I wanted to finish your story, but you held my interest to end. There was just something that made me want to see how it ended. Good hook.
Character:
I loved how you described your date. Very well done.
Plot:
You plot was clear from the first. It held true to my thoughts.
Grammar/Technical advise:
I saw no errors in the writing but the single, doubt and triple spacing were a problem for me.
Part I liked :
I liked the way it ended and I hope it a happy ending for you.
Of course this is only my opinion, but I hope it has been helpful; Keep on writing.
Yours is the first poetry that I've read in a long while. I like when poetry makes me makes feel music; your poem did hat to me. I started not to read it but it grabbed my interest and I read on, now I'm glad I did. I like it also when a poem makes me feel relaxed, again your poem did this for me. It was a good poem from beginning to end. Of course this is only my opinion, but I do know what I like and I liked this. Keep o writing.
I enjoyed reading your story. I was interested from the very and couldn't for the fight, that didn't happen, to break out. The characters were well defined and took on a life of their. The story, for me was an easy read and moved along smoothly. I didn't have to go back and re read anything, it flowed so easily from start to finish. I'm looking foreword to reading "Shifter" as soon as I can. I didn't see any problems with it at all. Overal I feel that it was well written.
Of course this is only my opinion. Keep on writing.
I wasn't sure where this was going but I just had see where it was headed.
Characters:
I feel that the characters were well done and I they felt real to me.
Atmosphere/Tone
It was set in a time that I can remember and it was well done.
Dialogue:
The dialogue between your characters was good.
Parts I thought needed more help
A good guy and, perhaps, boon companion for 'guy stuff' he was none-the-less a sofa-clutz, do away socially somewhat inept, and to one extent the butt of in group jokes due to the fact that he was trying to desperately to do away with the virginity of his seventeen-year old girlfriend.
When you said 'boon companion' I think you met 'good companion'
This sentence seemed long to me and I felt that it would have been more affective if it was broken up.
Parts I loved:
I liked the way it ended and I think that the young man handled it well.
Overall impression:
I liked the story and believe it was well written, of course this is just my opinion. I hope that I have been of some help to you.
I have read three of your stories now. I enjoyed this one just as much as the others. I only saw a couple of small typos, other than that I didn't see anything that jumped out at me. You managed to get my interest from the very star of the story and kept it to the end. I loved the way you ended, I wasn't expecting that. I had a whole other ending in mind but it was still well writing. Keep on writing. .
I'm not an expert at reviews but I do hope to get better. This was very interesting and the pace made it a good read, It was well structured and it was clear that something was going to happening. I was looking for your ending letting me that the "Sound" may have just been in his head. I saw no problems with writing that jumped out at me. Overall a very good read. Keep o writing.
It is nice to able to review the writings of a fellow Texan. Your story brought back memories of my visit to the fun house at the Gainesvile fair. It gave those feelings again. Your characters Johnny, Kevin and Becky reminded me of my friends and the trouble we got into. The pace of the story was good and keep my interest by making me wonder in what would next. You have written it well and I will enjoy reading more of your stories. Keep on writing..
I loved your story. It hooked me from the very beginning holding interest to the end. You made me feel as if I were the main character lost below the ice. I could feel the chill. The pace of the story was fine and I saw no problems or errors. I feel that it was well wwrittn and I will be looking for more from you. Keep writing.
I am still new at this reviewing stuff. I do know what like. I liked this very much. I think it was well written and I loved Megan and Abby. I was drawn into their would and I felt their fear. It held my interest from start to finish and the pace of the story good. It was clear and well structured. I didn't pick on any errors. Since I'm still new at this I hope that my stories do well.
I'm still new at these reviews. I don't know if what I say can help you but I believe what I have read is very good. I hope that there will be more I would truly like to see how this grows and what becomes of it. I didn't see errors that jumped out at me. It was put together well and held my interest from beginning to end. Well written.
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