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Review by Bababo Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi Witchmas, I thought that your title was very fitting to the story having read it now. It captured the feeling of malevolence. That's what I felt and personally I didn't like the tone. The voice was excellent however you write with a very captivating, visual style. If you've ever read from Judith Rich Harris you do remind me of her. Both the subject you write about and style you use.

While really well written I wasn't sure it was something worth reading if I wasn't a writer myself just because of the plain message that parents end up wanting to get their kids out of the house. I can see the cute side of it, sure, it was relayed in your article, still the reason I read is for something more than that. Maybe put more emphasis on the reason why (that while kids start out cute, they turn sour). Put a really original idea in there to get people thinking and that makes your article scream its point, its meaning, its significance.

You are a very talented writer and other than these things I would be hard on coming up with suggestions!
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