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Review of Have you ever....  Open in new Window.
Review by Ayla Jones Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is actually a trick I discovered and learned to use for a number of reasons. Say your friends are all sitting around and a simple conversation of opinion starts to get heated and you know if it continues it'd ruin the evening and possibly friendship. Or coworkers at work that never got along start saying remarks about the other and you find yourself in the middle. Doing something entirely unexpected and making no sense what so ever can catch people so off guard it can literally boot their mind out of it''s current mode.

The first time was when I was much much younger. My friends were arguing over something really stupid and I started looking around trying to keep out of things or feel drawn to take sides. I found myself staring at the intersection by the restaurant where we sat and remember thinking.....just how long do red lights stay red? It seemed to be red for 5 min and the cars were as far back as I could see which is not normal. When the light FINALLY turned green I just bursted out, for no reason initially, "The lights green!!!!". Both my friends were so shocked and thrown, that they completely stopped the argument in their tracks to focus on both my reaction and outburst. Which of course caused lots of laughs and I will admit, years of reminders that followed.

Later that day when dropping them off, the last friend said thank you to me. They thought my mindless outburst was an on purpose attempt to stop the argument before it got further. So since then I learned to use it. Even, and this was purely experimental, on that first date. You know those really uneasy awkward moments? And it's quiet because your torn up over the impression you want to make vs the impression you are making, so your dwelling carefully over what to say but for the life of you you have no idea. So that awkward moment is growing into a very awkward silent time and your worried that THAT is making the impression which is worse so you start to panic. Yep, just say anything. However I only find it fair to add directly after whatever you say or do with admitting you did it because of the silent spell that had fallen. Hasn't failed me yet especially as comedy is a big part of what I love so if the person doesn't have a sense of humor it wouldn't of worked out anyhow.
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Review by Ayla Jones Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I don't know that the results of this poll can be fairly calculated. In that, it's one thing to "think" it and it's another thing to "live" it. It's one thing to have the courage to say and think that a slash across your face wouldn't effect you....but would it?

Every time you looked in the mirror. Everytime you washed your face or put on make up. And worst of all, every time another person looks at you and either stares or looks away too quickly. Children you don't know and never will, will point and innocently ask aloud "what happened to her mommy?". The guy you met in the chatroom finally meets you and decides he's not ready for commitment any more....and then 2 weeks after that you see him on a date with another woman. An attractive woman. A woman that bares no obvious scare.

I have scars but they're only stretchmarks and concealed beneath my clothes. I used to work outside an ER for 2 years. You see a lot. You go home being thankful for...walking, talking, all your fingers, breathing on own, etc etc etc. Some found the job depressing. I found it being a hard reminder of just how good I had it. I think for a woman especially, her face being scarred like that would be...unfortunately, enough to turn her life upside down and need mental help via therapy to atleast SOME degree.

I will not write an essay on my feelings of the stereotypes that males and females are both more so trained since birth to follow. But I will ask that you take my word that females are objects in this world. I by no means agree to it, but it's just something we have to face. Beauty is sold by us. Our beauty opens doors, gets dates, offered more kindness. I myself did a "little" experiment in seeing the difference I was treated while going shopping if I just went wearing sweats, no make up, hair thrown in a claw, and kids at my side.....to kids still by my side, but makeup done, hair nice, and clothes that better expressed the attractiveness I could offer.

You can't argue facts. When I presented more beauty, it was a better shopping trip overall. Employees asked if I needed help, people noticed me from a distance and moved rather then just standing there for 5 min waiting to be noticed that they were in my way. On the flip side people were a lot nicer to me if I didn't realize I was in there way (short of some other females who seemed to be annoyed I didn't notice them). People smiled at me more. So, lesson learned. If I have a lot of shopping to get done and I KNOW the store will be packed, be pretty...it's our only means short of becoming the B word.

Not to mention, how was it received??? A car accident? A violent lover? A jealous ex who refused to have your beauty go on without him by your side?? It matters A LOT. Because whatever caused the scar will get thrown in your face again and again and again with reminders of "in your face!" feelings. This is not to mean no one would like or love you. This is not to say that a woman should in any way shape or form feel bad. But her life would become very very different from what she every knew, because the beauty we're expected to have will no longer be attainable on the level we knew. I feel mentally she would invert and blame herself which is really not healthy and very misguided. But, when your raised in a society such as ours, it's nearly impossible to avoid.
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