Really good idea, but you give it away. Take out the sentence 'In some ways he reminded her of Stan.' and keep your readers guessing until the last.
You say 'argument with her husband' but then go on to touch on several arguments. Expand a little on them, you're not giving her much of an excuse for throwing away her marriage.
Another point - she only has two hands. She cannot be holding her purse, holding her phone and covering her mouth at the same time. Either have her grab her purse and slip the shoulder strap on so both hands remain free, or drop the phone back into her purse as the door opens.
Thanks for the laugh! Simple, straightforward and to the point. I can just picture the two fishermen. Especially Billy, he sounds just like my son! And I absolutely love Rob, who caught the ultimate whopper.
I'm not sure why you have separated the dialogue and non dialogue. I think it would really improve your story and give it great flow if you combine them. You have showed how desolated she is and how the shock of what has happened is affecting her very well. I'd love to see where you take her from here.
That is so cute! I can just see it happening. Very descriptive and well worded. As an experienced rider I find this so hilarious. But take a moment and consider Champ's point of view. Everyday, stuck with some chump who doesn't have a clue, and he has probably seen them all. I have seen some very clueless people on a poor horse expecting it to have the reasoning power that they lack. He was just testing your metal. If you had reacted any other way you wouldn't have measured up, so it wasn't a matter of you getting angry that earned his respect, it was you asserting yourself and not being a wimp. Horses really hate wimps.
It's all true! Not just for men over sixty, but for us women over sixty as well! But you express it so well I laughed until the tears ran down my face. Everyone thought I'd lost my mind (finally). I can't see a single thing that needs improvement, especially your wit!
what a wonderful story! I love it! There are just a few problems with grammar and punctuation that I found but otherwise it is delightful and the ending is perfect.
Thunder crashes - lightning lights up the sky and the woods.
'Quickly running, as fast as five inch platform heels would allow her to, she headed towards what she was hoping was the edge of the forest.' I would change to 'Running quickly, as fast as five inch platform heels would allow, she headed towards what she hoped was the edge of the forest.'
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