Nice idea. Made me smile. Maybe the style of writing could have better reflected the originality of the overall plot and themes? Some of the dialogue seemed a bit awkward, it might have been better edited. I found it hard to tell if it should be read straight faced- the jokes were a bit too obvious. These are small details though and overall it was a thought provoking and enjoyable read, I'll be interested to see more. :)
I guess I did quite enjoy these poems. Sometimes when things rhyme I feel silly if it is not done with great subtlety, and perhaps I felt a bit silly at some points but I did feel that this was a delightful silliness. I prefer poems with explicit ideas rather than mystic metaphors to be deciphered but this I guess is due to my lack of an imagination rather than yours.
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