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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/astralrose
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6 Public Reviews Given
6 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Little Love Story  Open in new Window.
Review by Astralrose Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
I tried reading this piece, really, but I couldn't and I don't even have the slightest idea what it's all about. The thing is reading it is painful to the eye. The paragraphs and sentences are all cluttered up; it just looks messy...at least to me!

So maybe try arranging the conversation part and separate them from the narration.
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Review by Astralrose Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow! I loved reading this! I saw this yesterday night but read 'Written in the Stars' first. Today morning, this was the first thing I looked up. The title kind of got me. The way you narrated the story was fantastic. I couldn't stop! I could feel both characters.

I also thought that Larry had known Becky's routine -coffee and bagels? And the way he asked her for breakfast sent me giggling. Haha.

I just love this story. Is there a possibility that you're expanding this into a novel?

Regards,
Astralrose
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