Brilliant stuff! Loved the narrative voice, because of the wit in it (the scent of a butt whooping wafting behind him, what came out of me was neither of those questions). The twist at the end could be better though, unless it's real. Him shooting you and feeling sorry for it. Great writing. Keep it up please.
Extremely interesting. Loved the title. Also loved the very believable perspective of the robot. The "why didn't you make me an eagle', doesn't seem to connect to seeing, I re-read it twice. But they were ok. Would have been great if we had more of it to savour of course. All in all: Beautiful. Fresh. Believable, if not for the 'why didn't you make me like that or like this.' Maybe you need a bridge that shows you how much he would enjoy seeing, hearing , etc. Anyway, good stuff!
Original and amusing. I loved the bit about him not wanting a purple hoppity hop. Superb. I don't know if you should say "we both have the same things under our shirts". If you think a kid would say it, keep it. Wonderful all in all. Refreshingly true to the characters.
Beautiful and interesting. Keep more of them coming! :) loved it. Well built on Samantha's character. Frank's lacked a tad of depth, just for improvement. God bless.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 3:52pm on Nov 25, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
