I like this poem because it's a beautiful testament to love. I think you have ample talent as a writer, and I think you should explore the craft more before writing "storoems". Don't stick to a particular rule, just to satisfy it. Write more freely, so you can evoke beautiful emotions without being over-burdened by structure. Keep writing!
'Oh, this is Aria City,' Sir Victor George Newton says, seeing buildings from the city harbor.
He wipes his black brow with a green handkerchief.
He tidies himself up. He is wearing a luxury suit, but he has folded his jacket over his forearm, because it is warm there, of course.
He starts walking toward the centre of Aria City to look around the city along a river.
Aria city. Water city. There is a hydroelectric power plant and a big dam for hydroelectric power on the inside, which is made by churning water from the mountain. It is seen from the harbor, but it is hazy.
He turns his the eyes to buildings around here. They are colored white. They are clean. The reflected sunlight from the river is projected onto the facades.
He came to this city to be a hero, and to attend an appointment with Captain Plumber.
It has me interested, both in previous and later chapters. Watch the use of tense. Keep either present or past tense consistent throughout. Can do with some condensing too--some phrases are unnecessary and don't add to the imagery. Keep going!!
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.06 seconds at 3:18am on Dec 27, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
