From the first sentence I got hooked by your brilliant use of words and you flow perfectly. It took me a couple of minutes to catch on to the flashbacks, but once we were on the same page, I loved it. I've read it three times and it's one of the better short stories I've read on this site. Great jobb!
The plot in this short-story is wonderful and it really made me stop and think, which of course is a good thing. It was very interesting to see how you managed to pain an image of the characters in my head with so little information to go on. So good job!
However, I know this is a short-story, but I think you could benefit from making it a couple of paragraphs longer. The character of Adam and Michelle is already developed, I can tell, but adding a bit to Adam's side of the story would definitely make it a 5,0 story!
But still, it's a wonderful story which made me go through it three times already.
Good job!!
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ares88
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.10 seconds at 4:30pm on Dec 22, 2024 via server WEBX2.