.wow! You have an unusual writing style-but its works for the kind of story you've told. I intended to read a little of it- but I couldn't stop until the very end. You hint at something ominous in charles'behavior in so many ways, setting it up nicely for the end. Theslieght of hand in Judy's baths and tantrums that led me to think something corrosive was being planned for her- was pure Hitchcocck. And yes, your research paid off here- the story was plausible in every way. thank you for a superior entertainment. Well done!
Gret letter- well organized and enthusiastic; it inspired to be more involved, as it surely has others. Thank you for this. As I am still working within the limits of free membership, I may not be able to avail myself of many of the features, but it still pointed out the importance of reviewing tohelp in getting reviewed. Needless to say, as soon as I can manage it, I will be upgrading- to try out in contests and to increase to options writers have here. thanks again.
I love the development- the suggested presed flower is a clear and colorful image that begins to lose its color and seeming wholeness as it becomes a skeleton, then the cost of detail- all still true of the pressed flower, but it is a closer look at the reality. Its like when we read, forgetting that the words are tiny marks of black on a white piece of paper-fillling in concepts in our minds but thinking they exist on paper, in the words- where they are merely being triggered. this is such a clear statement of the process of memory altering-what is remembered. In tight and careful structure. this is an excellant poem- and 5 is a rating I almost never give.
this opening of a larger story reveals talent certainly and a colorful imagination. The story has promise as does its author- it needs work- its a fairly rough telling in its present form. I would encourage the author to carry the story to its conclusion before editing and polishing however. Once the story is completely worked out, then editing and polishing the phrases and word choices will not alter the basic story but will make it easier to read and to follow. A very nice beginning.
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