Hey there. I like the writing style of the piece. It is simple, everyday language that we all understand. As reader, however, a few things bothered me. Personally i felt that the story took a bit too long to reach the climax (where he found out that it was the dishwasher), and a few readers that dont have perseverance might give up before then because it feels as if nothing of importance really happens. I loved how you described his panic/ mania state though. that was fun to read.. keep up the good work
i really enjoyed the piece. it was written plainly, in a language that everyone out there is capable of understanding. As a hint, maybe you can move away from the general "he said, she said" when it comes to writing dialogue. Yes, it is simple to understand and to the point, but sometimes it makes the piece look boring, as if no real effort has been put into the dialogue. Overall, i think it was great. keep on writing. cant wait to read more:)
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/aralynne
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.10 seconds at 2:51pm on Nov 25, 2024 via server WEBX2.