~ Aqua ~'s (aqua_mantis) Reviews

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OLDWARRIOR'S POETRY FOLDER

Want perfect poetry? THIS IS NOT THE PLACE. My simple poetry comes from my heart and soul.

Please Review

This is a page to request reviews for static items and books.

Daily Flash Fiction Challenge

Enter your story of 300 words or less.

READ A NEWBIE

The Sandwich Saboteurs

The Joe Trilogy, book 1. About electronics, explosions, and useless conversation.

ENGLISH POETRY

IN THIS ONE IM GONNA SHARE SOME POETRIES IN ENGLISH.

Power

This is an Acrostic style poem about power.

Life Of Women

A woman plays an important role in society she works as a doctor, as a mother, as a friend.

BY ONLINE AUTHORS

THE SKY DANCERS

Tiny fairy-like beings the Sky Dancers transform into monsters to devour people

Zaya, Santa, Snowman Comedy Antics

Mrs. Clause's mother comes to visit, Zaya's Snowman comes to life. Santa's colored beard?

Duality of Me

Two of the versions of me that exist within the singular me.

Illogic

An alien spaceship lands on Earth and the aliens react to a sign on a building.

Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/aqua_mantis

~ Aqua ~

Review Requests: OFF

1,911 Public Reviews Given

1,999 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

Honest Encouraging Character Development Suggestions for improvement Plot/Setting Casual with things I liked and disliked

I'm good at...

Noticing Developments Suggestions for improvement Plot SettingEmotions Flow Dialogue Description

Favorite Genres

Dark Historical/Paranormal Romance Crime/Detective Fantasy Nature Emotional Inspirational Action Adventure Children's

Least Favorite Genres

Erotica, Adult, Gay/Lesbian, Biographical, Political, Historical

Favorite Item Types

Poetry and Short Stories, detective/fantasy chapters

Least Favorite Item Types

Documentary, Non-fiction, Monologue, Historical

I will not review...

XGC, 18+, Lengthy chapters, Erotic Poems/Stories, To a member who does not appreciate reviews

Public Reviews

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Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4391475

Review of The Young Brides Of Christ

Review by ~ Aqua ~

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

You posted before me in I Write in 2018, therefore, I'm here to read and leave feedback for your work. I have never read religious writing before, especially Christianity, so this was very new for me with a lot of information on common views towards different topics especially the LGBT community, the sinful things on the internet etc. For some reason, I was very amused by the way you had begun the story. I could almost imagine old ladies gathered up, gossiping, but here instead of that, they are worried if their sons aren't doing anything sinful, and also worried that they might do it.

The story was very interesting and spooky at the same time. I imagined the faces of the other two ladies and almost laughed. The flow of your story was good. There was no interruption of any kind while reading it out. There was also no typo or grammatical error that I spotted in your work. Well done, and good luck on your entry!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4387950

Review of Shen Yun

Review by ~ Aqua ~

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hey Carly!

Thank you for reviewing my work in the first week (I think) of I write in 2018. When I saw you had posted before me, I wanted to use the opportunity to read something of yours. I have entered the Construct Cup before in the past like three years ago. It was a very educational and competitive challenge in which I learned quite a lot!

You used the prompt quite well in your work interpreting the given prompt in an amazing and inspiring way introducing the reader to the history of the Shen Yun. I didn't know about it, but the poem helped the reader get the basic idea. I loved how you had fit in the vocabulary words in your poem especially the use of "azure" and "alabaster." Well done!

Best of luck in the contest!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4386479

Review of I am Weird

Review by ~ Aqua ~

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

Hey there! I'm here reviewing your work because you posted before me at I write in 2018. The form you've used is one I'm familiar with, although I haven't really tried my hand at it yet. The title of your work was very intriguing as it made me wonder why and how weird and animal rights would be related.

You've done a great job here. You've talked about animal rights and supported being a vegetarian or becoming one. A lot of people find vegetarians weird, I'm not one of them by the way, and you've used that stereotypical approach well in your poem. It's a nice entry for the contest, and as per the rules say, you've given a solid conclusion telling the reader about your person opinion indirectly.

The words you chose painted horrible, bloody, gruesome images in the reader's mind. Well done!

I wish you best of luck for the contest!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4382519

Review of Appomattox Autumn

Review by ~ Aqua ~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hi ♥HOOves♥ ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.

Part of the package Deep Tissue Massage gifted to you
by Andy~hating university

from "Invalid Item"

. Enjoy!

This is the last of the four reviews included in the package Andy gifted you. I chose this poem as the last piece because of the title. I have never heard of the word 'Appomattox' which intrigued me greatly, and I searched its definition. Upon searching, I found out that it's not a word, but actually a place

. I am very bad with names of other countries and states.

Nevertheless, I can never leave an opportunity to read a nature item. The flow of your poem was lovely as there was no interruption of any sort while reading it out loud. The poem you have here was very rich in vocabulary. I loved the choice of words, every single of them painting and conveying a different and beautiful picture on their own. The first two lines, especially, hooked the reader to your work with the beautiful flow and the mesmerizing wording. Well done!

My favourite lines were (other than the first two): Time hurries by, new century at last
Condemned to repeat careless ways of the past

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Write On!

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4382518

Review of Before 8 November

Review by ~ Aqua ~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hi ♥HOOves♥ ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.

Part of the package Deep Tissue Massage gifted to you by
Andy~hating university

from "Invalid Item"

. Enjoy!

This is the third of the four reviews included in the package Andy has gifted you. I was searching your poetry folder when this particular poem caught my attention. The way you had named your poem was very unique, and it gave the reader an idea that it is an important date for you. The brief description helped answer questions in the reader's mind as to why the date is so important for the poet.

It's a lovely sentiment; writing a tribute-sort of poem for the person you hold dear, the person you love, and the reader felt very warm and nice just after reading the title and description of it. The poem itself was very beautiful and lovely! The rhyming scheme you have used in your poem worked quite well! I loved the vocabulary you had used in your work, especially the 'words abound, ignite my soul,' 'destiny in stone,' and 'December leaves behind the cold.' Loved them!

The flow of your poem was exceptionally. There was no interruption of any kind while reading it out. Nothing seemed off, neither did I spot any typo or grammatical error in your work. Nice work!

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Write On!

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4382319

Review of Whisper Her Name

Review by ~ Aqua ~

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi ♥HOOves♥ ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.

Part of the package "Deep Tissue Massage" gifted to you by Andy~hating university

bought at "Invalid Item"

as part of your Christmas Box win at Advent Auction.

This is the second of the four reviews part of the package Andy~hating university

bought for you. I was searching for something to review from your portfolio when this particular poem caught my attention, and I decided to give it a read. The title of your work was very interesting and I felt kinda eerie reading it *laughs nervously*. My first impression of the poem was that it would be something in the horror genre, but much to my surprise, it wasn't the case.

I really liked the way you started your poem. It created a serious and grim atmosphere for the reader, there was urgency as well because the reader was filled with worry as if something dear had been lost or hurt. Your vocabulary was very good, particularly the 'sleepless night' and the eyes of a suffering child.

The way I interpreted your poem was that it's a kind of tribute to your mother or father because of the 'child' and the 'teach me to cook' lines. Of course, there are so many other people that fit in the category based on these two things, but the nearest that came to my mind were parents. I was impressed by the way you had written learning about adversity more than you did in any book or university. It reminded me of my mom's saying that when you fail to listen to the advice of the elders, time will teach you the same thing in the hard way. Doing something practically has way more advantages and learning outcomes than reading it in some sort of instruction manual or just thinking it in your mind.

Well done!

The flow of your poem was very good; there was no interruption of any kind while reading it out loud. The form you have used isn't mentioned in the poem, but I think it's free verse. My favourite stanza was the last one, and I particularly loved the last line of your poem

. There were no errors or typos that I found in your work, nor I have any suggestions.

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Write On!

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4378508

Review of Wonderland

Review by ~ Aqua ~

In affiliation with The Dark Society

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi Jeff ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and o nly you can decide what works best for your item.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JEFF!

As part of your birthday month, we at "The Dark Society"

are doing a review raid from your portfolio! I was searching for something to review from your poetry folder when this particular poem caught my attention. I have read several manga and short stories that feature altered versions or Alice in Wonderland. I remember this being one of the first few prompts of Dark Dreamscapes and found the entries quite entertaining in their own way. So I wanted to see how you had used the prompt in the dark way.

Your poem was like a deep, meaningful and evil chant that has a lot of appeal in it for the listener.

In a lot of horror movies and Exorcist tv series, I have noticed how the evil spirits lurk at every place and sweet talk to a potential and vulnerable host, offering them sweet things in return for just letting them in, saying the three lettered magic word 'yes.'

I got the same feeling here. You did an excellent job establishing that! It was well expressed especially in the part where you say about never leaving ever again.

The flow of your work was very good. I am familiar with the form you had used for your poem. The rhythm and rhyme improved the flow and added a nice overall impact on the reader.

There were no grammatical errors or typos of any kind that I spotted in your work.

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Write On!

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4378504

Review of Too Little, Too Late

Review by ~ Aqua ~

In affiliation with The Dark Society

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Hi Jeff ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JEFF!

As part of your birthday month, we at "The Dark Society"

are doing a review raid from your portfolio! I was searching for something to review from your poetry collection when this caught my attention. I love reading romantic poetry whenever I get the chance, so naturally when I saw the brief description and the genres of your work, I knew I had to stop by and read it.

The flow of your poem was beautiful. There was no interruption while reading it out loud. The rhythm was improved by the choice of the vocabulary you had chosen which made the poem flow quite fluently. The form you have used in your work was one that I had never heard of before, but it helped me understand it when you briefly mention at the end of the poem what it is. It worked well with your poem.

Although the vocabulary you have chosen for your work is simple, but the chosen words are highly effective in conveying the deep and raw emotions of love and regret to the reader. I particular liked the way you began your poem of earliest days when the love had just recently blossomed between the two of you.

My first impression was that perhaps the beloved had died leaving behind the character who is now reflecting on his life, the love that he could have but didn't. However, it changed when I read 'I'm too stubborn to admit I'm wrong' because that implied that it was something that the main character did, something in his personality, that caused the two to separate unwillingly, unwanting, but became necessary. My heart tore at the second interpretation.

My favourite lines were: Our earliest days were full of dances, / We overflowed with laughter, love, and light.

A beautiful poem!

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Write On!

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4378469

Review of Switch

Review by ~ Aqua ~

In affiliation with The Dark Society

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hi Jeff ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JEFF!

As part of your birthday month, we at "The Dark Society"

are doing a review raid from your portfolio!

I was searching for something to review from your portfolio in the horror collection when I saw this particular flash fiction and decided to give it a read.

The title and the short description of your work had caught my attention. I wanted to see how the images were related to the story and who or what gets switched. My first impression was the switching of bodies of two or more people, but it was different here.

I liked how you started the story quite normally, a couple, their phones exchanged or switched and the boyfriend checks out the messages from his girlfriend's phone and sees those kind of messages. To be honest, I or any other third person for the matter would definitely think it was extortion and would get angry.

You did a great job in giving the same, realistic impression and evoking the same response from the reader as your main character. Yyou also delivered a very good moral that we all know but seldom use today, hence the gossips: incomplete knowledge is a dangerous thing.

A great read indeed! Quite different and ended horrifyingly.

The flow of your story was excellent. There was no interruption of any kind while reading it out loud. There were no grammatical errors or typos that I spotted in your work.

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Write On!

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4378462

Review of Escape

Review by ~ Aqua ~

In affiliation with The Dark Society

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hi Jeff ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JEFF!

As part of your birthday month, we at "The Dark Society"

are doing a review raid from your portfolio! I was searching for something to read in your horror stories collection when this flash fiction caught my attention, so I came over to see who's escaping from whom and how does the story end.

Oh boy - corn fields and fields in general, like wheat in the case of your story, are plain creepy and perfect setting for a horror story and sinister happening, be it a murder or a cult practice. I was intrigued when the man came chasing the boy and you mentioned the boy not going to a 'them' instead of just the single man who was chasing him from the house to the field. Then the story picked up my attention when the boy got caught and when you mention how the boy had tried escaping many timea before.

WOW! Jeff, what a story! I had to re-read it, especially the ending to see if perhaps it had a deeper, hidden meaning but then I scrolled up to see the comedy genre in the work, and I knew I had been fooled! 😂

At a glance, I know right away if it is appealing on the page and is easy to read and understand. If it is in one huge paragraph, it becomes too difficult to read. The format of your story was very good. You had divided it into paragraphs that made it easy for the reader to follow the story without getting lost.

The story must not only be told in a logical order, but must have a feel to it. That means I'm not stopping and starting abruptly, or stumbling over the words or distanced for some other reason. The flow of your story was very good. There was no interruption. Right from the beginning, you managed to capture the reader's attention completely, hooking her to every word of the story as I found myself eager to find out the ending and why and from whom the boy was running away.

I found no grammatical errors or any other kind of typos in your work. Well done!

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Write On!

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4378459

Review of Not So Happily Ever After

Review by ~ Aqua ~

In affiliation with The Dark Society

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hi Jeff ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JEFF!

As part of your birthday month, we at "The Dark Society"

are doing a review raid from your portfolio! I was searching for something to review from your portfolio when this particular story caught my attention, and I wanted to give it a read. I watched Beauty and the Beast, read the books when I was a kid but I don't like these anymore. However, since I found this in the comedy folder in your portfolio, I wanted to see how you had used their story and continued it after ten years.

The title was very amusing, and the reader wondered what kind of modern day problems the two lovers, Beauty and the Beast, were facing after ten years. The setting is an important component of a story, and I noticed this in the previous story of yours too that you help set the setting, the tone and the mood using dialogues and interesting, brief description that doesn't bore the reader or lose her interest. A nice balance of imagery and well written word makes me feel as if I am there, but overdone it ends up being repetitive and redundant. The first line completely hooked the reader to your story. I have to say, you did brilliantly! With a single sentence, you gave the reader a complete idea of what the story would be about with just one word 'lawyers' and managed to grab her attention completely.

The flow of your story was very good. There was no interruption of any sort. Whatever questions rose in the reader's mind while reading it were answered at some point later in it. I love dialogue. I take note if the story has any or if it has the character's thoughts. You did well by engaging the reader in the story. It was as if I was actually one of the lawyers and hearing the Beast's side of the so-called 'happily ever after' with Belle on the opposite side of the table. The dialogues were written correctly, there was no error or any sort and they were not mixed with one anothers'.

I liked the entire story, and I kept smiling to myself from the beginning to the very end. A very clever and amusing story! I loved the modern twist and the problems that come with the divorce. Poor Beast! The last line had me laughing for quite some time!

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Write On!

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4378458

Review of the same moon

Review by ~ Aqua ~

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi christo ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.

I was searching for something to review from your portfolio for the WDC Game of Thrones Battle when I saw this particular poem. I chose to read and review it because the title caught my attention. In the nature objects, I like reading poems about moon and sun but I am always more drawn towards moon due to the slight sad and romantic touch it has. The title and the short description made the reader curious and it made her want to know what the poem was about and what role did the moon play in the memories.

Wow, you have quite a deep poem here. I read the poem twice to grab the idea completely but it was good and worth it, I'd say. You have a confused reader come to a conclusion and find an answer as to why you titled the poem the way it is. The first stanza opens just like a nature poem where it is a normal and usual moon, night sighting where the poet appreciates its beauty but it is in the second and the last stanza that the reader actually understands and grasps the idea behind your short description.

The vocabulary you had chosen for your poem was good, it was simple but effective in conveying the message, the answer to her doubts, to the reader as she read your poem and imagined the lovely scenery of the moon in the dark blue sky, sitting somewhere near river, seeing its perfect reflection and wondering about the times she spent with her loved one under the same moon.

I loved the second stanza the most. The reason is because you explain the reader in an indirect method, giving her a key to the title. I really liked this factor of your poem. You reminisce and remember the moon as time spent with someone, only then do you remember it was the same moon when we went to our first date or when I went to meet her outside of the curfew time under the same moon. Beautiful!

In the end, my last thoughts are that this was a tricky poem with mixed meanings, but when the reader gets it, a wonderful poem!

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Write On!

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4378456

Review of The Ex-Girlfriends Club

Review by ~ Aqua ~

In affiliation with The Dark Society

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Hi Jeff ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JEFF!

As part of your birthday month, we at "The Dark Society"

are doing a review raid from your portfolio! I was searching for something to review from your stories folder when this particular story caught my attention, and I wanted to see what you had here.

The title of your work was very interesting. It gave the reader the impression that this was about some playboy, and how all of his ex-girlfriends had formed a club to maybe plan a revenge or payback sort of thing on him. I had never expected the story to take a turn this way!

When I read how the main male character's ex-girlfriends had made up a club after being scarred one way or another, I thought you were referring to the heart-break or something like that, not the literal definition! I was quite amused when I found out it was used in the literal sense.

The flow of your story was very good. There was no interruption of any kind while reading it out. I didn't stop anywhere abruptly or found some essential detail missing from the story. The setting was very good. Although there wasn't much detail, but the way you had written the story gave the reader the important information and allowed her to imagine where the conversation is taking place. Your use of 'restaurant' and 'clientele' further helped the reader.

There were no grammatical errors that I found in your work. There were no typos that I spotted in your work. For a story under a thousand words, you did a brilliant job! My favourite part of the story was the ending. I loved how you had showed your to-be wife's scars and how she wasn't going to leave you just because of it, but I have a feeling she'll end up with a lot more of those if she spends a lifetime with you!

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Write On!

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4377926

Review of Tell Not A Soul.

Review by ~ Aqua ~

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi sunnystarr once again ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.

Last of the two reviews as part of your package Candle-Bath
gifted to you by your Secret Santa at "Invalid Item"

. Enjoy!

Now, I am also using the opportunity to review this item for Twelve Labourers of WDC and Spa Care. In the folder where I found the previous poem I reviewed, this one caught my attention as well, so I decided to give it a read too. The title and the brief description you had provided for your work intrigued the reader. There was a hint of 'dark' and 'emotional' in it, especially the title so I came over to see what it was exactly about.

I was very touched by your poem, and tears welled up by the time I had finished reading it. This- this perfectly summed up my feelings and how I usually am until the barricade breaks, and I end up crying though alone so no one still knows. This was a very moving, personal and emotional poem that I could relate to on so many different levels, not only for myself, but sometimes for others too. Every one of us is starting to think like this, puts on a mask for each day, hiding their pain deep inside because of 'what would people think?' whereas it shouldn't be the case.

The flow of your poem was very good. There was no interruption. The idea of the starting stanza being the ending one as well as clever and worked well with your work. The vocabulary you used in your poem was simple but very effective and enabled the reader to relate to your words and imagine the scenes in her head. My favourite lines were:

but will not tell a soul.
The sun ever shining outside
.
.
Your mind wanders to and fro,
while trying to keep a level head,
looking back, looking ahead feelings

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Write On!

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4377734

Review of Dancing At Midnight

Review by ~ Aqua ~

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi ElizabethHayes-DaughterofIAM ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.

One of the two reviews as part of your package Candle-bath
gifted to you by your Secret Santa at "Invalid Item"

. Enjoy!

Now, I am using the opportunity to review this item for Twelve Labourers of WDC and Spa Care. I was searching for something to read from your portfolio in your poetry folder when this particular poem caught my attention. I love reading poems about midnight dances and anything along these lines. When I read the title of your work, I thought that it was a romantic piece, but I saw that there was no 'romance' genre mentioned with your work.

I wasn't sure what to make about the 'Divine Mother' term that you have used for the other person that you danced with and look forward to dancing again in the future as you hinted it in the last line 'we will dance once again. Seeing that there is no romance genre mentioned, I can think that the Divine Mother means mother in the literal sense or it could be nature too. I searched for items related to Isis in your portfolio and it was only then did I understand that you were referring to the Egyptian goddess!

Clever, although for readers who don't know who you are referring to with Isis, you could provide a small note at the end.

The starting of your poem made me recall Cindrella, and I imagined myself shuffling my feet waiting for my partner to come and dance away. The flow of your poem was very good. There was no interruption of any kind. The vocabulary you have used in your work was simple, but very elegant and effective in conveying the emotions and scenery to the reader. I especially admired the use of 'silvery moon' and 'chains that bind.'

My favourite lines were:

When midnight returns
we will dance once again

It was kind of like a happy ending that left a satisfying feeling inside the reader as well as the eagerness to do it once again. Well done!

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Write On!

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4372562

Review of The End of Light

Review by ~ Aqua ~

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi Morgan Fall ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.

I see you are a newbie, so first of all, welcome to WDC! If you have any questions, feel free to ask me

. I hope you find the community helpful and friendly. I was searching for something to review as part of a WDC activity when your item caught my attention. It seemed like a title which had close relation to the famous saying but in the opposite sense: "There's a light at the end of the tunnel." I don't know if it is actually related or not, but this is what came to my mind when I saw the title and read the brief description of your poem.

After reading your poem, I found out that I was close to the interpretation of the title which was death, the opposite of hope and positivity and light in life.

The poem started directly on the subject which grabbed the reader's attention right from the beginning. I loved the use of the single words in the five few lines which added a grim and horrifying impact on the reader. My favourite part was the following:

The sun will set one last time
Upon the inocent, the sinful
Upon the lithe and graceful

I really admired how you had incooporated the sun in your poem, it was very sad.

The flow of your poem was very good, there was no interruption of any sort while I reading it out loud and the rhythm was good. The vocabulary you had used in your poem was perfect for the theme you had here and worked well in conveying vivid images and deep emotions to the reader, well done!

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Keep on writing!

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#4372556

Review of What is there inside my heart?

Review by ~ Aqua ~

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi jojo ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.

I see you are a newbie, so first of all, welcome to WDC! If you have any questions, feel free to ask me

. I hope you find the community helpful and friendly. I was searching for something to review as part of a WDC activity when your item caught my attention. The title of your work was very good, it asks a question that seems metaphorical but then at the same time in the literal sense. It also gave the impression of a strong person gone through a lot of tough times in life so I wanted to see if my impressions were true or not after reading the title.

What a beautiful poem you have here, Jojo, really inspiring! You literally open and dissect your heart giving the reader a full, 3-dimensional view of what is inside and you describe each part of your heart, the lively one that is full of hope and positivity and sees the best in everyone, the dark part that lurks behind in a corner and sometimes take over, a corner for secrets and broken dreams and pain all of which happened in the past and one room for the future, new dreams and promises, a sign of human being.

It was one of the best poems I have read so far on WDC, you should be very proud! The flow of your poem was excellent, there was no interruption of any sort while reading it out loud. The vocabulary of your poem especially in the opening stanza was fantastic and conveyed vivid, amazing images to the reader's mind. The rhythm of the poem was very good and my favourite stanza was the last one, I loved the way you concluded the poem. It was perfect! There were no errors that I spotted in your work. Well done!

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Keep on writing!

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Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4372547

Review of Driftwood

Review by ~ Aqua ~

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Aiden Chelsey ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.

I see you are a newbie, so first of all, welcome to WDC! If you have any questions, feel free to ask me

. I was searching for something to review as part of a WDC activity when your item caught my attention. I feel very strongly and am very passionate, sensitive even, about mental health and psychological issues especially people with alzheimers, autism etc. For some reason, the loss of memory touches my soul deeply awakening different sort of emotions. I have written a poem for a contest based on the POV of an alzheimers and it won first place.

When I saw the brief description and found out that this was a poem about alzheimers, I knew I had to stop by and read your poem. The title was perfect for the poem and the theme you selected for your poem. This was a very strong and powerful poem, especially the opening stanza that grabbed the reader's attention completely. I loved the different scenes and events that you mention in the poem with randomness and the incooperation of the medicines and drugs given to the patients of alzheimers like morphine. I also loved the small hindrances and obstacles you mentioned in the mind of the patient in remembering their memories.

My favourite stanza was the second one, I loved the use of the terms 'season,' 'driftwood on tides of remorse' and it touched me greatly.

The flow of your poem was very good, there was no interruption of any sort while I was reading it out loud. The rhythm was good, there were no errors or typos of any kind that I spotted in your work. Well done!

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Keep on writing!

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Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4372539

Review of Short Haunting Stories

Review by ~ Aqua ~

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.5)

Hi Raven ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.

I see you are a newbie, so first of all, welcome to WDC! If you have any questions, feel free to ask me

. I was searching for something to review as part of a WDC activity when your item caught my attention. I know how scary and traumatic it can be to witness real life supernatural and ghost activities, but for some reason, listening to them excite me and I love reading and seeing them. I am a huge fan of the horror genre and when I saw the title of your work, I knew I had to come and stop by.

Wow - those are a lot of paranormal things! The bites in the shape of a cross was the most freaky and creepy incident from all the ones you have mentioned here!

I noticed some things in your work, grammatical and spell errors which I have highlighted below. Feel free to discard any if you disagree.

==> Everything was quite accept the blowing tress and singing birds.
Everything was quite except the blowing of the tree leaves and the singing birds.

==>While at the dollar-tree with my babysitter I saw a blue and gold moon mask. I asked if I . . .. . "You were suppose to
While at the dollar-tree with my babysitter, I saw a blue and good moon mask. I asked if I . . . . . "You were supposed to look . . .

==> It wasn't where I left it.
It wasn't where I had left it.

==>I was use to high heat since my mom always had the heater on.
I was used to high heat since my mom always had the heater on.

==>It was my Uncles wedding
It was my Uncle's wedding.

==> I was looking at a photo of some solders.
I was looking at a photo of some soldiers.

==>. I tilt my head to the side and I keep looking at the photo.
I tilted my head to the side, and I kept looking at the photo.

==>My two VERY smart LOVELY cousins wanted to carve there names INTO one of the OLD poles
My two very smart and lovely cousins wanted to carve their names into one of the old poles.

==>They laugh and so it anyway.
They laughed and they did it anyway.

Aren't you scared? you should definitely ignore these things if you want them to leave you alone. You could also turn to religion, just a thought?

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Keep on writing!

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14 days may be credited.

#4372531

Review of Hopes and Dreams

Review by ~ Aqua ~

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi CMac Writer ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.

I see you are a newbie, so first of all, welcome to WDC! If you have any questions, feel free to ask me

. I hope you find the community friendly and helpful. I was searching for something to review as part of a WDC activity when your item caught my attention.

'Hopes and Dreams' was a beautiful title which wanted me to see if you had talked about a specific one in your poem or all in general. The brief description cleared this thought and provided the reader the exact idea as to what the poem is about, well done! It was very inspiring and instead of the 'other,' 'other,' and 'other' in your genres of the poem, you should add Inspirational and Experience. It will work well!

The brief description set quite a good mood for the entire poem, a nice sweet ending after struggling for such a long time. I love the simple moral being used in your poem, in my native language it is 'mehnat ka phal metha hota hai' which translates to English something as the fruit of hard-work is very sweet. The poem itself was short but quite meaningful. I loved the flow of your poem, it wasn't interrupted even a single time when I was reading it out loud. The consistent rhyming scheme you had used in your poem worked quite well in establishing a good rhythm in your poem and added a nice impression on the reader.

You could also add that even after a lot of hard work and struggle if you don't get your particular fruit then it means that it was never meant for you in the first place and that something better is waiting for you. The idea is very good and motivating to never lose hope. Well done! I found no typos or errors of any sort in your work. Excellent poem!

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Keep on writing!

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Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4372502

Review of candied sweets

Review by ~ Aqua ~

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi monochromerainbows ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.

I see you are a newbie, so first of all, welcome to WDC! If you have any questions, feel free to ask me

. I was searching for something to review as part of a WDC activity when your item caught my attention. The title of your poem sounded very sweet, like it was 'candied sweets' and I wasn't sure what to expect from the poem. That made me very curious and so did the brief description you had provided the reader with.

Although the poem sounds as if the relationship is well and good, in fact there's a complete new face as the curtain is pulled aside and we see the tragically, sad relationship and how only one of the two is struggling to keep it together and preventing it from breaking. The entire poem reflects your love for the other person that you are going to the lengths of ignoring whatever he is doing behind your back, cheating and treating you badly just to keep him with you, have him stay with wherever he is. It was sad and cruel but touching.

The flow of your poem was very good. There was no interruption of any sort. You haven't mentioned which form you have used, since I didn't see any rhyming pattern of any kind, I am going to guess this was a free form poem. It worked well with your poem. My favourite part was the last stanza, it was a great way to end the poem and was very touching.

I had no suggestions for the poem itself but some others. Like for the brief description you had provided, it didn't make any sense for the reader. You should try re-wording that. IT was only after I had read the poem could I make some sense of what you wanted to say in the brief description. Secondly, you should add 'Romance' and 'Personal' in the genres of the poem as well along with 'Relationship.'

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Keep on writing!

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14 days may be credited.

#4372454

Review of when the moon dies

Review by ~ Aqua ~

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.5)

Hi sue ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.

I see you are a newbie, so first of all, welcome to WDC! If you have any questions, feel free to ask me

. I hope you find the community helpful and friendly. I was searching for something to review as part of a WDC activity when your item caught my attention. The title of your work was very romantic and tragic at the same time, I wanted to see what kind of a poem you had here, especially after reading the intriguing short description you had provided which gave the reader a hint that it was in the literal sense, whereas the title hinted at a more metaphorical use.

You have a very amazing poem here, sue! It can definitely be improved especially the vocabulary and the tenses used but so far, you have a great poem and idea with a lot of potential! It touched me deeply especially the last three lines, they were beautifully tragic

. Amazing job!

I had some suggestions for your poem. They are mostly about the punctuation. Feel free to discard any if you disagree. Please don't feel discouraged for that is not my intention.

Day after day he thinks[,]
about his moon that is no more.
Blaming himself for what has happen [happened] to her,
the sun forces himself to stop trying.
Turning cold so everyone can feel his pain,
the stars that comforted the moon couldn't do the same for him.
He's all alone even [with] the clouds in the sky[,] .]
Surrounding him[,] they realized that the sun is too gone to save.
The only thing that can save him[,]
is himself[,] and he won't be able to do that without the moon.
Taking comfort from the flames around him,
the sun with drew [withdrew] away farther and towards the darkness.
Everyone can tell that he has lost all hope as they[,]
look up into the sky; all they can see is a dying star.
Crying empty tears that long ago stop[stopped] fazing him,
feeling empty and numb[,] the light in his eyes fades.
Taking a shotgun to his head,
he takes a quick breath and pulls the trigger.
The stars feel the pain as the bullet flies through the sun's head,
they could hear his lifeless body fall to the ground.
A pool of blood seep down the side of his head,
as the clouds start to cry for their once bright friend.
When the people saw the rain turn into bloody tears,
they all knew that the tears were from For ? the sun.
The clouds and stars were just symbols,
of the moon and sun's forever pain.

The flow of your poem was good, there was some interruption due to the tense used, otherwise it was pretty good. The ending was my favourite part, loved that!

Very strong subject!

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Keep on writing!

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#4372430

Review of Much like my lover

Review by ~ Aqua ~

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hi S.Velocity ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.

I see you are a newbie, so first of all, welcome to WDC! If you have any questions, feel free to ask me

. I was searching for something to review as part of a WDC activity when your item caught my attention.

The title of your work made me curious and wonder to whom you were comparing your lover with and to see that, here I am. I loved the comparison you had provided, the analogy you made between the rain and the love. I love reading romantic poetry and in nature generally, I love rain. Both topics were my favourites so I enjoyed reading your poem quite a lot.

The last five lines in your poem were really touching and my favourite ones, I loved them. The use of the terms 'old friend,' 'lover' and 'soothing to the soul' were just perfect for rain and I found myself agreeing to your perspective of the rain and the person you love. I have to say, though, that I do not find the roll of thunder or the lightning bolt 'sexy as hell.' It made me laugh a little

. It was a strange comparison but with the rest of your poem, it worked well, so well done!

The flow of your poem was good, there was no interruption on reading it out loud. The vocabulary you had chosen was simple but very effective in conveying the emotions to the reader and making vivid, colourful images in the reader's mind. My favourite lines were the following:

their fragrance alluring & unforgettable
they both can make you feel alive

There were no errors or typos of any sort that I could find in your work, well done!

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Keep on writing!

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14 days may be credited.

#4372425

Review of Television

Review by ~ Aqua ~

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi Adriane ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.

I see you are a newbie, so first of all, welcome to WDC! If you have any questions, feel free to ask me

. I was searching for something to review as part of a WDC activity when your item caught my attention.

Television and media have become a very important part of our lives today. Be it social networking wesbites like Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest or the television channels, they have become incoorporated into our lives and hold the power to greatly influence the masses and turn a country's social condition upside down, into a complete turmoil. One of the reasons why I hate watching television and especially the news channels is because of the false and half reports they give to the audiences. They only show the side that's brutal and try to manipulate the truth into some tragedy. Even if there is a tragedy, they exaggerate it to such a great magnitude that it's unbelievable.

Another reason why I stopped watching television was because of the sad, tragic news that ran on every channel every single day with no good news of any sort, like you say, no hope shown. It's partly the media's fault and the other is in the people that are becoming more and more intolerant and mentally disturbed with each passing day.

Your poem sheds a light on the bitter truth on the events happening all over the world, it has a sad tone that makes the reader forget everything and concentrate on the recent sad events she had listened or heard of in the television.

A very meaningful poem, short but very touching. I loved the starting of how parents leave the children to their television and programs and neglect them. Another serious topic that you highlighted in your poem. Well done! The line that touched me the most was the last one, and hopelessness takes the stage.

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Keep on writing!

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14 days may be credited.

#4372003

Review of Essence of a Dying Man

Review by ~ Aqua ~

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Tim Dagenhart ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.

I see you are a newbie, so first of all, welcome to WDC! If you have any questions, feel free to ask me

. I was searching for something to review as part of a WDC activity when your item caught my attention. The title was very intriguing as it made the reader wonder what kind of an essence the man is leaving behind and how it relates to an old, lost love.

First of all, I loved the rhyming scheme and the rhythm you have established in your poem. The rhyming scheme isn't consistent throughout your poem, and you haven't mentioned which form you have used so it must be a free-form. Nevertheless, it worked quite well with your poem and right from the beginning grabbed the reader's attention completely. Loved it! The flow of your poem was very, very good. There was no interruption of any sort.

The starting stanza was one I really enjoyed. When a man is dying, he wants nothing more than happiness, joy and all the good things for his loved one and you started right from there. The way you had written that was exceptional, especially the moon dance in the hair and being where the tides return. It was lovely.

The poem was told in the way of a story where the poet and the person used to be very close in the past, but due to some conflicts and circumstances in life, hearts were broken and people were hurt due to which distance came between the two lovers until today when the dying man is reminiscing his past and remembering her in good words. It was beyond beautiful

.

I found just one typo in your work: I'd give everything I am/ Too be your fairytale again The 'too' should be 'to.' Other than that, everything was perfect. My favourite stanza were the fourth and the fifth ones apart from the starting one. Really touched me!

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Keep on writing!

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