I truly did enjoy reading this. It reminds me of a stream of consciousness exercise that my English professor made us do every day before class started. We would just write whatever came to mind at the moment, and if somehow what we wrote sparked some inspiration, then we would just go from there on our own time.
It flows like a free verse poem and has the irregularity of a stream of consciousness. Personally, I think this is the most raw and unscripted form of writing and believe every writer should practice it. Very well written! Your imagery was acute and well executed. I actually visualized the homeless man in the beginning and was able to think about the song between the birds and leaf blower.
There were a few comma errors, but not anything that took away from the overall idea of the...I guess...story?
I would like to read more from you! You obviously have talent and I would love to see what that imagination of yours could do with characters and a plot. Keep on writing!! I'll be reading.
Annisha
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