The dialogue was fast moving and good and reminded me of a 1940s James Cagney movie, especially with the word choices like "Dame." It was believable, up to a point.
Little confusing as to how the woman driver could really see the hunting knife clearly given they were stopped in traffic, which made the intimidation factor not as strong as it could be. Did he brandish the knife in her direction or just let her see it casually?
Also why would she be following him at all if she was just an upstairs neighbor? Could not it have been a coincidence?
Tighten it up and clarify and you have a suspenseful scene.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/andygirl
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 3:54am on Nov 27, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
