Well, it would have been great if we knew what was worrying him! If you start with the argument with his wife then the syringe then sleep then the knife, it would have been a nightmare in the nightmare. It`s my opinion. What I liked is the simple language you are using, keep doing this and don`t believe anyone telling you to use complicated words. And the action, I would have liked more if you added some dialogue. Well I`m giving it 3.5.
I liked dialogue, simple language. "The thunder of hooves pounding the ground echoed in his ears" is good. I am not fully attached to the story but in general, I think you have an easy language that can go into mind and heart. That means you are a writer!
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