I picked reading this entry because it seemed right up my ally of interest. I really like you general idea on the whole observation and I love the way you alianated the character telling the story. I like the overall observation of various characters at the party but I think the story lacks detail essential to drawing someone in. While reading it I began to feel as if I was caught in one very long run on sentence with no point. I think if you took this general idea and redid it with more description and maybe a plot of some sort it would make it more interesting to readers. Who is this friend who dragged her along? Why did she agree to come when she didn't want to? Explain the ambiance of the room/party/scene more. What is the point of her observations? Why should we care?
These are all good questions to ask yourself when writing. If you want people to truely enoy your writing you must draw them in, make them feel and relate...give them something to go off of.
Good luck :)
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