There is many grammatical errors. 'mom said that's not it I said' things like that are hard to read. Overall, though, it's pretty cute and funny. Many sentences need capitalization. It's very cute, and I especially love the ending. Keep on writing, this has a lot of potential!
this is a topic that I've never read. The only thing similar is stories about how they are to good to do anything laborious. It's a whole 5.0 poem. The lines rhyme and still make sense; I've found that an issue with many others Keep writing, you're awesome!
It was too simple. Pyrite gave it away; if it was gold, it would say "All they hold in their hand is plain old gold", not plain old pyrite. Good concept, add more options, and take was all I am is pyrite. =) Keep writing; the poem itself is very good.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/amberdragon
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.10 seconds at 10:37pm on Nov 10, 2024 via server WEBX2.