\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/allycat70
Review Requests: OFF
1 Public Reviews Given
1 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Allycat70 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (1.5)
Hi
Just a few suggestions based on making it flow. I'm not really a reviewer, but...
Try and link the sentences without the full stops, otherwise it's just statements of fact. Experiment with the order of your opening lines, this may help you link them in a more poetic manner. After you have wrote something down, try and see what other words could take their place. Also, try and see if you can say the same thing with less words. I have taken the liberty of rewriting what you wrote into how i think you may have intended, just to show you as a quick example of how rewriting changes things-

'Singing along to Shiloh - and any gentle music - soothes my soul in a way that only my Divine Mother can match; it cleanses my spirit of any lingering negativity, benefiting my soul and bringing me peace. If not through music, then liberty and calm are received in fair exchange for prayer and meditation. That is how it works for me.'

The best way to learn is to read examples of the style you want to write in, and then compare with what you have actually written. From this you will gain the mindset and each time you write, you will improve.
I'm not saying it's easy by the way, but it is interesting and ultimately as rewarding as you hope it to be.
Good luck.
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/allycat70