It has a good idea, but over all it doesn't seem very proofread, especially the first part. It also feels like it's moving much to fast. You really need to put more detail into your story. Take time when you write. Make sure every sentence works.
WOW. That would make an amazing song, and it's so obvious it was written from the heart. I'm so sorry that happened to you, and I know this really has no effect on how you will look at life, but I hope you end up happy. No one deserves that. Great writing also.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/alicewonders
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.10 seconds at 5:48am on Nov 25, 2024 via server WEBX2.